Jokes

Glass coffins….will they be popular? Remains to be seen.

My favourite teacher back in school was Mrs Turtle.

Funny name, but she tortoise well.

They say cows are bad for the environment,
all they do is eat plants and f*rt...
just like vegans...

If you have to argue on your mobile in public,
please put it on speaker, I need to hear both sides of the story...

If a firefighter's work go up in flames,
and a plumber's work go down the drain,
can a hooker be laid off?

I heard that you should always look into a mirror before making a big decision.

It helps you reflect.

pms jokes are never funny
period

The trouble with political jokes is they often get elected.

In a safety meeting at work they asked me what steps I'd take in a fire.

Apparently "Really big and fast ones" was the wrong answer.

I have an intermittent fear of tsunamis.

It comes in waves.

@pianoman1 said
Glass coffins….will they be popular? Remains to be seen.

Phoned the doctors this morning and asked for an appointment.
Receptionist said 'we have nothing today.'
I said 'anything tomorrow.'
She said 'we have 10 tomorrow if thats any good.'
I said 'I don't need that many.'

That moment when your steak sizzles on the grid and your mouth starts watering...
do you vegans feel the same when you mow the lawn...

"I refuse to spend my life worrying about what I eat. There is no pleasure worth forgoing just for an extra three years in the geriatric ward." - John Mortimer

I'm researching nudist colonies; bare with me.