limericks

Originally posted by SpastiGov
There was a fat clown named Moore
Who tried to upstage Al Gore
He had a few pies and wrote a few lies
And now he's looking for more.

There was a sad prophet named Gore
Who wanted to be a 'Mike Moore'
He failed at school, a professional fool
Who ended up being a bore.

There was a young man from Bristol,
Who liked to play with his pistol.
While mucking about,
A bullet came out.
And know he’s known as Christel

Originally posted by reader1107
Did your teacher talk about the rhythm of limericks and the syllable count?

there once was a guy with small dick
the sight of it made him real sick
now he goes home and pouts
as his concious just shouts
"get off the steroids, you prick!"

not too funny, but it does belong in every MLB, NFL, NBA and USCF locker room in America

Originally posted by Diet Coke
I decided to write a limerick about the nationality I thought your flag was.

Which was Australia.

I then checked and it's actually New Zealand!😳

But I can't be arsed to change it, plus I imagine you'll be offended if I call you australian.

So here goes.

There was a young man from Australia.
Who’s limericks were a bit of a failure.
He tried to write,
But was really trite.
So now he’s off to Bacchanalia

Originally posted by reader1107

This one is from wikipedia:

There once was a man from Japan
Whose limericks would never scan.
When asked why this was
He answered: "because
I always try to put as many syllables in the last line as I possibly ever can"

There's a hockey team from Toronto,
They're useless just like Esperonto.
They can't win the Cup,
Because they all suck
They're as gay as that cowboy named Tonto.

Tonto? Who's that?

Originally posted by Anakin Skywalker
Tonto? Who's that?

From Spike Milligan and the Goons

There was a young man from Tralee
Who was stung on the neck by a wasp
When asked if it hurt
He replied not at all
It can do it again if it likes

Originally posted by kmac27
so in english i have to write limericks for a poetry unit and heres what i came up with.

there was a guy named peter pan
who came from a place called never land
he found the lost boys
and made them his toys
michael jackson was that man

post yours this would be a fun one since i've seen the haiku one on here as well. if this is offensive to anyone i'll have this removed. enjoy.

There was once a man Geant
whos **** was so long that it bent.
To safe himself trouble,
he put it in double
and instead of coming , he went.

There once was a chess player quite bold
So much so that his king had been sold
He posted quite well
In the threads of the dell
Cause his name was, quite frankly, Ice Cold!

😉