1. Playing with matches
    Joined
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    14634
    10 May '18 23:05
    Phillips makes some great products and their cordless beard trimmer is amongst them. Unfortunately, nowhere in their literature does it say not to use said beard trim to touch up your undercarriage.

    Anyway, upon discovering that the guard clips on and off and determining that a reasonably close shave could had, "why not" I thought to myself "hit ol' big Jim and the twins with a quick once over. Worked like a charm. Smooth and silky soft with clean edging. Picasso would have been proud.

    The first three goes went great, but, I guess I got a little complacent on try number 4. The shaver snagged my nutsack and savaged it unmercifully. Upon pulling it free I managed to stab Big Jim and almost sawed him off at the root. Needless to say, my jumbles looked like they'd been hit with a weedwacker. The bleeding was impressive and I left big bloody dong prints in my wife's best hand towels. Truly horrific.

    Consider this a public service announcement.
  2. santa cruz, ca.
    Joined
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    10 May '18 23:161 edit
    Originally posted by @hand-of-hecate
    Phillips makes some great products and their cordless beard trimmer is amongst them. Unfortunately, nowhere in their literature does it say not to use said beard trim to touch up your undercarriage.

    Anyway, upon discovering that the guard clips on and off and determining that a reasonably close shave could had, "why not" I thought to myself "hit ...[text shortened]... in my wife's best hand towels. Truly horrific.

    Consider this a public service announcement.
    if the result had been fatal or resulted in sterilization , you would have gotten a Darwin award
    I see an award coming!
  3. Standard memberwolfgang59
    Quiz Master
    RHP Arms
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    48793
    11 May '18 02:12
    Originally posted by @hand-of-hecate
    Phillips makes some great products and their cordless beard trimmer is amongst them. Unfortunately, nowhere in their literature does it say not to use said beard trim to touch up your undercarriage.

    Anyway, upon discovering that the guard clips on and off and determining that a reasonably close shave could had, "why not" I thought to myself "hit ...[text shortened]... in my wife's best hand towels. Truly horrific.

    Consider this a public service announcement.
    My legs just went wobbly. 😕
  4. Joined
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    Moves
    116751
    11 May '18 04:29
    Originally posted by @hand-of-hecate
    Phillips makes some great products and their cordless beard trimmer is amongst them. Unfortunately, nowhere in their literature does it say not to use said beard trim to touch up your undercarriage.

    Anyway, upon discovering that the guard clips on and off and determining that a reasonably close shave could had, "why not" I thought to myself "hit ...[text shortened]... in my wife's best hand towels. Truly horrific.

    Consider this a public service announcement.
    Obviously you need a steady hand, Hand.
  5. Mar-a-Lago
    Joined
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    8962
    11 May '18 07:44
    Originally posted by @hand-of-hecate
    The first three goes went great, but, I guess I got a little complacent on try number 4. The shaver snagged my nutsack and savaged it unmercifully. Upon pulling it free I managed to stab Big Jim and almost sawed him off at the root. Needless to say, my jumbles looked like they'd been hit with a weedwacker. The bleeding was impressive and I left big b ...[text shortened]... in my wife's best hand towels. Truly horrific.

    Consider this a public service announcement.
    You are certainly not being boastful by telling us you left big bloody dong prints on your wife's best bath towels. 😉
  6. Subscribersonhouse
    Fast and Curious
    slatington, pa, usa
    Joined
    28 Dec '04
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    53223
    11 May '18 17:121 edit
    Originally posted by @hand-of-hecate
    Phillips makes some great products and their cordless beard trimmer is amongst them. Unfortunately, nowhere in their literature does it say not to use said beard trim to touch up your undercarriage.

    Anyway, upon discovering that the guard clips on and off and determining that a reasonably close shave could had, "why not" I thought to myself "hit ...[text shortened]... in my wife's best hand towels. Truly horrific.

    Consider this a public service announcement.
    Couldn't have happened to a nicer guy. Hope that means you will be able to spread your suspicious genes to anyone else. Hopefully you have not reproduced yet. Save the race! Don't reproduce.
  7. SubscriberVery Rusty
    Treat Everyone Equal
    Halifax, Nova Scotia
    Joined
    04 Oct '06
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    597968
    11 May '18 17:26
    Originally posted by @sonhouse
    Couldn't have happened to a nicer guy. Hope that means you will be able to spread your suspicious genes to anyone else. Hopefully you have not reproduced yet. Save the race! Don't reproduce.
    Damn sonhouse,

    You beat me to saying it!!! 😉

    -VR
  8. SubscriberGhost of a Duke
    Resident of Planet X
    The Ghost Chamber
    Joined
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    28711
    11 May '18 17:28
    Originally posted by @hand-of-hecate
    Phillips makes some great products and their cordless beard trimmer is amongst them. Unfortunately, nowhere in their literature does it say not to use said beard trim to touch up your undercarriage.

    Anyway, upon discovering that the guard clips on and off and determining that a reasonably close shave could had, "why not" I thought to myself "hit ...[text shortened]... in my wife's best hand towels. Truly horrific.

    Consider this a public service announcement.
    I appreciate the warning sir. I was about to carry out the same 'tidy up' procedure with the giant electric sheers from the garden shed, but am now questioning whether or not that is the best way to proceed.
  9. SubscriberVery Rusty
    Treat Everyone Equal
    Halifax, Nova Scotia
    Joined
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    Moves
    597968
    11 May '18 17:54
    Originally posted by @ghost-of-a-duke
    I appreciate the warning sir. I was about to carry out the same 'tidy up' procedure with the giant electric sheers from the garden shed, but am now questioning whether or not that is the best way to proceed.
    LOL...So you don't want to wind up with a big bloody dong on your hands!!! 😉

    Well, we only have your word on that one! 😛

    -VR
  10. Subscribersonhouse
    Fast and Curious
    slatington, pa, usa
    Joined
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    11 May '18 17:59
    Originally posted by @very-rusty
    LOL...So you don't want to wind up with a big bloody dong on your hands!!! 😉

    Well, we only have your word on that one! 😛

    -VR
    He (if indeed IT is a he) is undoubtedly putting out a BS post just to see the reactions.
  11. SubscriberVery Rusty
    Treat Everyone Equal
    Halifax, Nova Scotia
    Joined
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    597968
    11 May '18 18:082 edits
    Originally posted by @sonhouse
    He (if indeed IT is a he) is undoubtedly putting out a BS post just to see the reactions.
    Are we talking about Goad or Hand here?

    If we are talking about Hand, I am pretty sure he is a male or went through a lot of trouble to get pictures of him sitting with a dog,etc.,etc.. He also has rifles to protect himself as he is useless in a physical confrontation. 😉 He does love saying things just to get a reaction, which always seems to work!

    Not completely sure about Goad, but I believe him to be male, talks like a dude, but then we have had a few women on here who did also!!!

    -VR
  12. Subscribersonhouse
    Fast and Curious
    slatington, pa, usa
    Joined
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    53223
    11 May '18 19:23
    Originally posted by @very-rusty
    Are we talking about Goad or Hand here?

    If we are talking about Hand, I am pretty sure he is a male or went through a lot of trouble to get pictures of him sitting with a dog,etc.,etc.. He also has rifles to protect himself as he is useless in a physical confrontation. 😉 He does love saying things just to get a reaction, which always seems to work! ...[text shortened]... m to be male, talks like a dude, but then we have had a few women on here who did also!!!

    -VR
    Hand. What did he say when you told him you got pics of him and his dog? Payback is a bitch,eh. You remember what he did to me, posting pics of my house and full name?
  13. santa cruz, ca.
    Joined
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    11 May '18 19:581 edit
    Originally posted by @sonhouse
    Hand. What did he say when you told him you got pics of him and his dog? Payback is a bitch,eh. You remember what he did to me, posting pics of my house and full name?
  14. SubscriberVery Rusty
    Treat Everyone Equal
    Halifax, Nova Scotia
    Joined
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    597968
    11 May '18 21:28
    Originally posted by @sonhouse
    Hand. What did he say when you told him you got pics of him and his dog? Payback is a bitch,eh. You remember what he did to me, posting pics of my house and full name?
    Actually he had them posted. I didn't save the pics, neither him his dog or rifles interested me.

    No, I didn't hear about him posting pics of your house and full name. I certainly wouldn't put it past him, and how did he get a hold of that info?

    -VR
  15. Playing with matches
    Joined
    08 Feb '05
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    14634
    11 May '18 21:49
    Originally posted by @captain-strange
    You are certainly not being boastful by telling us you left big bloody dong prints on your wife's best bath towels. 😉
    I believe any sized dong print on her new towels, combined with blood splattered bathroom tile, would have been just as poorly received by my wife.
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