Phillips Cordless Beard Trimmer

Originally posted by @hand-of-hecate
Phillips makes some great products and their cordless beard trimmer is amongst them. Unfortunately, nowhere in their literature does it say not to use said beard trim to touch up your undercarriage.

Anyway, upon discovering that the guard clips on and off and determining that a reasonably close shave could had, "why not" I thought to myself "hit ...[text shortened]... in my wife's best hand towels. Truly horrific.

Consider this a public service announcement.

1. Use a beard trimmer only for the area around. Never use it on the actual shaft or your balls.
2. Use a razor for the shaft and balls. This does a smoother job and is less risky.
3. Get someone else to do the part with the razor. They have a better view and a better angle.
4. Stop fearing the wax strips!

Originally posted by @ashiitaka
1. Use a beard trimmer only for the area around. Never use it on the actual shaft or your balls.
2. Use a razor for the shaft and balls. This does a smoother job and is less risky.
3. Get someone else to do the part with the razor. They have a better view and a better angle.
4. Stop fearing the wax strips!

Number 3 is the textbook definition of 'trust.'

Originally posted by @sonhouse
That's pretty bad limericking. I wouldn't mind a jab if it flowed but your limes suck.

Great art is rarely recognized in its own lime. My limes are great!

How's this?

There once was a man named Sonhouse
Who was as dumb as a dormouse
He whipped out his dong
And said sing me a song
But his tiny pud failed to arouse.

On this site we're stuck with Sonhouse for life
The poor oid fellow can't find a young wife
He said I've even shaved my Johnson
And I'm tougher than Charles Bronson
Because I used a blunt rusty knife.

hecate glumly took up his razor,
cuz his wife laughed and said, "oh nay sir",
with one quick errant swipe,
his balls were gone in the night,
and a stump left where his dick were...

Originally posted by @sonhouse
He (if indeed IT is a he) is undoubtedly putting out a BS post just to see the reactions.

Nothing gets past you.
You're like a modern day Inspector Clouseau, or something.

Originally posted by @freakykbh
Nothing gets past you.
You're like a modern day Inspector Clouseau, or something.

Says the guy whose religion is worshiping the flat Earth. And believing the pyramids are energy generators.
It sure is funny how the registered assswipes are all chess putzes. You, Crowley, HOH. I could play you all simul and whip your butts and give you knight odds to boot.

Originally posted by @wolfe63
Owwwww....

My Mr. Johnson sends his most sincere empathies.

YouTube[/youtube]

Originally posted by @kegge
[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sQUJ6OiGp0g[/youtube]

Someone didn't pay the fees, the link doesn't work at least here in the Pocono's.

Originally posted by @sonhouse
Says the guy whose religion is worshiping the flat Earth. And believing the pyramids are energy generators.
It sure is funny how the registered assswipes are all chess putzes. You, Crowley, HOH. I could play you all simul and whip your butts and give you knight odds to boot.

What is this simul game of which you speak?
RPG, yes?
Is it more D&D-ish or kinda more like maybe sorta something like that kinda thing that's akin to Mage: The Awakening?
Either flow, I'm down.

P.S. Just so you don't have to cut-and-paste your CV onto your response again, I know you have accomplished quite a bit, so no need to hash over old times, cool?

Ever hear of Descartes?
What value does his thinking represent, if any at all?

Originally posted by @freakykbh
What is this simul game of which you speak?
RPG, yes?
Is it more D&D-ish or kinda more like maybe sorta something like that kinda thing that's akin to Mage: The Awakening?
Either flow, I'm down.

P.S. Just so you don't have to cut-and-paste your CV onto your response again, I know you have accomplished quite a bit, so no need to hash over old times, cool?

Ever hear of Descartes?
What value does his thinking represent, if any at all?

So Freaky, tells us how awesome you are. It’s not enough for me to simply bask in the glory of dickhouse’s resume. I need to moar!

Originally posted by @hand-of-hecate
So Freaky, tells us how awesome you are. It’s not enough for me to simply bask in the glory of dickhouse’s resume. I need to moar!

For being a singularly outstanding individual, my chief attribute--- following a blinding and incisive intelligence, a searing laser-like focus on truth in its divergent and glorious forms, and of course, a voracious appetite for anything worth staying awake for--- is my transcendent ability to remain extraordinarily ordinary.

Surely, my rakish good looks are at least an appetizer to all manner of exemplary and noble behavior such regal appearance suggests, but to have the intellect--- the blistering intellect--- waiting patiently in the wings, quietly bidding its dieu whilst strangers fawn and paw (many content to never leave the front lawn, the facade) until one insightful person, one such as yourself, is bold enough to ask the sun its whereabouts when it drops off into the distant west each night.

As I was I saying, I am a simple man.
Meager of life's trappings, but a storehouse full of life's natural blessings and even spoiled by its many, many other large, um, gifts.

Where do I begin?

Originally posted by @freakykbh
For being a singularly outstanding individual, my chief attribute--- following a blinding and incisive intelligence, a searing laser-like focus on truth in its divergent and glorious forms, and of course, a voracious appetite for anything worth staying awake for--- is my transcendent ability to remain extraordinarily ordinary.

Surely, my rakish good lo ...[text shortened]... atural blessings and even spoiled by its many, many other large, um, gifts.

Where do I begin?

Fap, fap, fap... don’t stop now..

Originally posted by @freakykbh
For being a singularly outstanding individual, my chief attribute--- following a blinding and incisive intelligence, a searing laser-like focus on truth in its divergent and glorious forms, and of course, a voracious appetite for anything worth staying awake for--- is my transcendent ability to remain extraordinarily ordinary.

Surely, my rakish good lo ...[text shortened]... atural blessings and even spoiled by its many, many other large, um, gifts.

Where do I begin?

...and stupendous dearth of words. Poetic economists declare "recession" when reading Freak-Speak. 😉

Originally posted by @captain-strange
On this site we're stuck with Sonhouse for life
The poor oid fellow can't find a young wife
He said I've even shaved my Johnson
And I'm tougher than Charles Bronson
Because I used a blunt rusty knife.

You may all wonder what happened then
He shrieked when he looked down at 'Big Ben'
But he's as dumb as a rock
He has butchered his cock
And I'm not talking about a male hen.