the first line of yer novel

the first line of yer novel

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15 Jun 20

"Please tell me you didn't push the red button, private"

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He navigated weirdly, to the consternation of all, until he reached the waterfall.

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Timothy hadn’t set out to join an evil organisation and was just something he’d stumbled into while looking for work in the retail sector.

Gothenburg

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1 edit

@ghost-of-a-duke said
Timothy hadn’t set out to join an evil organisation and was just something he’d stumbled into while looking for work in the retail sector.

Gothenburg

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My friends are trying to talk me into telling them what actually took place in London 1964-65, a time that changed my life forever - I guess they are anxious to know what I might keep quiet about, but after all these years, I'm still not clear what actually happened at 46, Leinster Square in Bayswater.

SRB

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@earl-of-trumps said
Lazy gulls waiting to feed, gently squawk and flap their wings
as workers file into the weather-worn wooden buildings of cannery row.
Love Cannery Row Mr Steinbeck, one of the first novels I ever read!

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@petewxyz said
Love Cannery Row Mr Steinbeck, one of the first novels I ever read!
As contemporaries, I like Steinbeck more than Fitzgerald and just slightly less than Hemingway.

Classic American prose.

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2 edits

My bunkmate Joe Lee was a wild kaleidoscope of a man who struggled to stay localized and focused, but eventually he succumbed to the distributive allure of post-incarnate life, as apparently had the constructors of Zotoba IV, who were not much more advanced than we when they vanished -- all of them now gone like the morning dew.

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@caesar-salad said
My bunkmate Joe Lee was a wild kaleidoscope of a man who struggled to stay localized and focused, but eventually he succumbed to the distributive allure of post-incarnate life, as apparently had the constructors of Zotoba IV, who were not much more advanced than we when they vanished -- all of them now gone like the morning dew.
Too many adverbs.
But the idea could be strong.
I like it.

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And there she was...gone.

Gothenburg

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@great-big-stees said
And there she was...gone.
(Great, but was she there, or was she gone...?)

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@torunn said
(Great, but was she there, or was she gone...?)
Gone.🤔😉

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@great-big-stees said
Gone.🤔😉
But presumably she had been there.

You're going to cover that ground with some flashbacks, right? 😉

Gothenburg

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@great-big-stees said
Gone.🤔😉
Great first line in the prose competition perhaps?

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1 edit

@wolfe63 said
Too many adverbs.
But the idea could be strong.
I like it.
Thank you. It was admittedly turgid and over-freighted. Novelist and reader alike might struggle to continue. Not quite in the league of the openers for Neuromancer, Rebecca, or Anna Karenina. 😉