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Originally posted by Grampy BobbySome conduct themselves in an honourable way; others are selfish, greedy slobs.
Human beings are unique. Behaviour reflects breeding, timely initiatives and good decisions from a position of strength with some; with others, sadly lacking. Some conduct themselves at the table with etiquette; at public gatherings in restaurants and forums with social graces and appropriate manners; in bed, though intensely private, the same considera ...[text shortened]... wishes applies. Some conduct themselves in an honourable way; others are selfish, greedy slobs.
I don't doubt this is true, but I'm not in a position (nor have the disire) to judge other peoples bedroom performances, any more than I'm able (or desire) to judge how they poop and wipe when on the toilet.
Aside from the wife it's no ones else's business, and I choose to extend that same courtesy to others. I don't actually need to extend that same courtesy, because I really don't care to know what kind of cheeky monkey business is happening in someone else's boudoir... I only care about the cheeky monkey business happening in my boudoir.
St Paul said "The marriage bed is undefiled"... I don't need to consult a Bible scholar to understand what that means.
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Originally posted by lemon lime"Human beings are unique. Behaviour reflects breeding, timely initiatives and good decisions from a position of strength with some; with others, sadly lacking. Some conduct themselves at the table with etiquette; at public gatherings in restaurants and forums with social graces and appropriate manners; in bed, though intensely private, the same considerations for a spouse's preferences and wishes applies. Some conduct themselves in an honourable way; others are selfish, greedy slobs."
[b]Some conduct themselves in an honourable way; others are selfish, greedy slobs.
I don't doubt this is true, but I'm not in a position (nor have the disire) to judge other peoples bedroom performances, any more than I'm able (or desire) to judge how they poop and wipe when on the toilet.
Aside from the wife it's no ones else's business, and I ...[text shortened]... bed is undefiled[/i]"... I don't need to consult a Bible scholar to understand what that means.[/b]
"at the table and in restaurants and forums and in bed" are several of the venues in which contrasting behaviour was noted in the studies; none were singled out as more or less significant that I can recall.
Please recognize that my intent wasn't for anyone to personalize these findings publically.
Originally posted by Grampy BobbyJust relax, both of you. Humans will use anecdotes to attempt to relate to each other. Sometimes this creates a bond, sometimes this offends one of them. Stuff happens. Turn the page and forge on.
"Human beings are unique. Behaviour reflects breeding, timely initiatives and good decisions from a position of strength with some; with others, sadly lacking. Some conduct themselves at the table with etiquette; at public gatherings in restaurants and forums with social graces and appropriate manners; in bed, though intensel ...[text shortened]...
Please recognize that my intent wasn't for anyone to personalize these findings publically.
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Originally posted by SuzianneThank you, Suzi; I'm quite sure lemon lime will see your suggestion in the same way.
Just relax, both of you. Humans will use anecdotes to attempt to relate to each other. Sometimes this creates a bond, sometimes this offends one of them. Stuff happens. Turn the page and forge on.
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Originally posted by Grampy BobbyPlease recognize that my intent wasn't for anyone to personalize these findings publically.
"Human beings are unique. Behaviour reflects breeding, timely initiatives and good decisions from a position of strength with some; with others, sadly lacking. Some conduct themselves at the table with etiquette; at public gatherings in restaurants and forums with social graces and appropriate manners; in bed, though intensel ...[text shortened]...
Please recognize that my intent wasn't for anyone to personalize these findings publically.
I understand your intent and I'm not unsympathic with your concerns, but anything posted at an internet game site public message board will be personalized. I'm aware of those moments when I've pushed the envelope, but so far I haven't actually crossed any forbidden lines. I've crossed the line I set for myself a few times, but apparently my usual standards are a bit higher than this site requires for acceptable behavior.
Originally posted by SuzianneYou cannot use phrases like "selfish greedy slobs" when referring to people you cannot or will not identify without challenge.
Just relax, both of you. Humans will use anecdotes to attempt to relate to each other. Sometimes this creates a bond, sometimes this offends one of them. Stuff happens. Turn the page and forge on.
If you go fishing with ugly bait you catch ugly fish.
Originally posted by Grampy Bobby"The online disinhibition effect is a loosening (or complete abandonment) of social restrictions and inhibitions that would otherwise be present in normal face-to-face interaction during interactions with others on the Internet. This effect is caused by many factors such as: dissociative anonymity, invisibility, asynchronicity, solipsistic introjection, dissociative imagination, and minimization of authority.[1] Contents 1 General concept 1.1 You don't know me. 1.2 You can't see me. 1.3 See you later. 1.4 It's all in my head. 1.5 It's just a game. 1.6 Your rules don't apply here.
"Human beings are unique. Behaviour reflects breeding, timely initiatives and good decisions from a position of strength with some; with others, sadly lacking. Some conduct themselves at the table with etiquette; at public gatherings in restaurants and forums with social graces and appropriate manners; in bed, though intensel ...[text shortened]...
Please recognize that my intent wasn't for anyone to personalize these findings publically.
General concept "Because of this loss of inhibition, some users may exhibit benign tendencies such as: becoming more affectionate, more willing to open up to others, less guarded about emotions, all in an attempt to achieve emotional catharsis. According to psychologist John Suler, this particular occurrence is called benign disinhibition.[1] With respect to bad behavior, users on the Internet can frequently do or say as they wish without fear of any kind of meaningful reprisal. In most Internet forums, the worst kind of punishment one can receive for bad behavior is usually being banned from a particular site. In practice, however, this serves little use; the person involved can usually circumvent the ban by simply registering another username and continuing the same behavior as before. Suler calls this toxic disinhibition.[1]
CB radio during the 1970s saw similar bad behavior: Most of what you hear on CB radio is either tedious (truck drivers warning one another about speed traps) or banal (schoolgirls exchanging notes on homework), but at its occasional—and illegal—worst it sinks a pipeline to the depths of the American unconscious. Your ears are assaulted by the sound of racism at its most rampant, and by masturbation fantasies that are the aural equivalent of rape. The sleep of reason, to quote Goya’s phrase, brings forth monsters, and the anonymity of CB encourages the monsters to emerge.[2] Suler names six primary factors behind why people sometimes act radically different on the internet than when they do in normal face-to-face situations:
You don't know me. Core Concept: Dissociative anonymity The notion of "You Don't Know Me" comes down to simple anonymity: when the person remains anonymous, it provides a sense of protection; within the framework of the Internet, this allows the user to move about without any kind of indication of identity or even distinguishing characteristics other than potentially a username. This kind of protection can provide a meaningful release for people in that they feel free to say things they might otherwise be embarrassed by, but by the same token, it also provides an outlet for behaviors that others might term antisocial or harmful.
You can't see me. Core Concept: Invisibility The Internet provides a shield to its users; often all one receives when interacting with another person on the Internet is a username or pseudonym that may or may not have anything to do with the real person behind the keyboard. This allows for misrepresentation of a person's true self; online a male can pose as a female and vice versa, for example. Additionally, the invisibility of the Internet prohibits people from reading standard social cues; small changes in facial expression, tone of voice, aversion of eyes, etc., all have specific connotations in normal face-to-face interaction.
This particular aspect overlaps heavily with anonymity, because the two often share attributes. However, even if one's identity is known and anonymity is removed from the equation, the inability to physically see the person on the other end causes one's inhibitions to be lowered. One can't be physically seen on the Internet, typically – therefore, the need to concern oneself with appearance and tone of voice is dramatically lowered and sometimes absent.
See you later. Core Concept: Asynchronicity The asynchronous nature of the Internet can also affect a person's inhibitions. On internet message boards, conversations do not happen in real time. A reply may be posted as shortly as several minutes; however, it may take months or longer for someone to post. Because of this, it's easier for someone to "throw their opinions out" and then leave; a person can make a single post that might be considered very personal, emotionally charged, or inflammatory and then "run away" by simply not logging in again. In this way, the person achieves catharsis by "voicing" their feelings, even if the audience is just as invisible.
However, the asynchronous nature of the Internet also allows a person to more closely examine what they say and to more carefully choose their words; in this manner, someone who might otherwise have difficulty in face-to-face interactions can suddenly seem eloquent and well-mannered when reading message board posts or even in text-chat forums such as IRC or instant messaging.
It's all in my head. Core Concept: Solipsistic Introjection Lacking any kind of visual face-to-face cues, the human mind will assign characteristics and traits to a "person" in interactions on the internet. Reading another person's message may insert imagined images of what a person looks like or sounds like into the mind, and mentally assigns an identity to these things. The mind will associate traits to a user according to our own desires, needs, and wishes – traits that the real person might not actually have.
Additionally, this allows fantasies to be played out in the mind, because the user may construct an elaborate system of emotions, memories, and images – inserting the user and the person they are interacting with into a role-play that helps reinforce the "reality" of the person on the other end within the mind of the user.
It's just a game. Core Concept: Dissociative Imagination By combining solipsistic introjection with the imagination, a feeling of escapism is produced – a way to throw off mundane concerns to address a specific need without having to worry about consequences. According to Suler's[1] personal discussion with lawyer Emily Finch (a criminal lawyer studying identity theft in cyberspace), Finch's observation is that people may see cyberspace as a kind of game where the normal rules of everyday interaction don't apply to them. In this way, the user is able to dissociate their online persona from the offline reality, effectively enabling that person to don that persona or shed it whenever they wish simply by logging on or off.
Your rules don't apply here. Core concept: Different metrics of authority Online, a person's real life status may not be known to others. If people cannot see the user, others have no way to know if the user is a head of state, a celebrity, or a regular private citizen. While real-world status may have a small effect on one's status on the Internet, it rarely has any true bearing. Instead, things such as communication skill, quality of ideas, persistence, and technical ability determine one's status in cyberspace.
Additionally, people can be reluctant to speak their minds in front of an authority figure. Fear of reprisal or disapproval quashes the desire to speak out, and on the Internet, levels of authority that might otherwise be present in real life are often completely absent; this turns what might otherwise be a superior-inferior relationship into a relationship of equals – and people are far more likely to speak their mind to an equal than a superior." http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Online_disinhibition_effect
Note: Unfortunately not one of the studies, lemon lime, though these online forum findings are similar in concept. -Bob
Originally posted by kevcvs57kev, as mentioned to lemon lime... 'my intent wasn't for anyone to personalize these findings publically'.
You cannot use phrases like "selfish greedy slobs" when referring to people you cannot or will not identify without challenge.
If you go fishing with ugly bait you catch ugly fish.
Originally posted by lemon limeWould you agree that whether online or offline (in public or in private) acceptable forms of human behavior are governed by breeding; cultural mores; inculcated and acquired norms and standards; a sense of timing and of appropriateness?
[b]Please recognize that my intent wasn't for anyone to personalize these findings publically.
I understand your intent and I'm not unsympathic with your concerns, but anything posted at an internet game site public message board will be personalized. I'm aware of those moments when I've pushed the envelope, but so far I haven't actua ...[text shortened]... apparently my usual standards are a bit higher than this site requires for acceptable behavior.[/b]
Originally posted by Grampy BobbyWe cannot know the intent of any poster on these forums Bobby, lacking any contextual information based on personal knowledge of any given poster we can only gauge their intent by the language they use.
kev, as mentioned to lemon lime... 'my intent wasn't for anyone to personalize these findings publically'.
I maintain it is at best naive to think you can use phrases like "selfish greedy slobs" and get a positive reaction from your fellow posters, especially, when introduced to what was a light hearted and entertaining thread.
My comment was not meant as a personal rebuke, but rather an observation on the limitations that come with the superficial knowledge concerning each others personal traits and intentions on an anonnymous public forum.
Originally posted by kevcvs57Well said. I've taken your words to heart; that particular phrasing, though paraphrased from one of the studies, was inappropriate in context. Thanks.
We cannot know the intent of any poster on these forums Bobby, lacking any contextual information based on personal knowledge of any given poster we can only gauge their intent by the language they use.
I maintain it is at best naive to think you can use phrases like "selfish greedy slobs" and get a positive reaction from your fellow posters, especially, ...[text shortened]... l knowledge concerning each others personal traits and intentions on an anonnymous public forum.
Originally posted by Grampy BobbyI think it's much simplier than that. Sorry if I'm being literal minded, but to me "acceptable behavior" simply means whatever happens to be acceptable by whatever group you happen to be with. People normally gravitate toward others who share the same standards and sensibilities. And what is considered acceptable behavior for one group might be considered offensive by another... and versa visa.
Would you agree that whether online or offline (in public or in private) acceptable forms of human behavior are governed by breeding; cultural mores; inculcated and acquired norms and standards; a sense of timing and of appropriateness?
Edit: Oops, it's been resolved now. Okay then... well, uh... so never mind. Dang, I really should catch up with the reading before saying anything. 😳😕 ... 😴