#1— When the telemarketer asked to talk to you, answer, “You have the wrong phone number.” This will quickly end the call.
#2 — If the telemarketer starts with a “How are you today?” answer with an exaggerated, “Oh, I’m SO glad you asked! It’s as if no one cares about me anymore! You know, this morning, I woke up and my alarm hadn’t rung, so I had to miss breakfast. At work, my boss was annoyed because yesterday I……………………………..”
#3 — When the telemarketer starts his sale pitch, scream at the?” The telemarketer top of your lungs, “OH MY WORD!” and slam down the phone.
#4 — If the telemarketer is of the opposite sex, listen to his sales pitch, talking only to grunt an occasional “Uh-huh.” When he/she finally finishes his/her memorized speech, ask, “Will you marry me?” After the silence, explain that just as you wouldn’t marry anyone you hadn’t met, you wouldn’t give your credit card number to a complete stranger.
#5 — As soon as the telemarketer starts to talk, say “I’m really busy right now, but can I call you back in five minuteswill undoubtedly say that that is against the company’s policy. Politely ask for his home phone number. This will cause him to “have” to go.
#6 — If the telemarketer says his name, ask him to spell it for you. Than ask him to spell his last name. Ask him to spell his company’s name. Keep the water torture going for as long as possible.
#7 — Say, “Oh, hi! It’s been so long since I’ve talked to you! How’ve you been? You know, we need to get together for lunch soon. I can’t believe how fast the time flies, can you? Did you know that………………………………………..”
#8— When the telemarketer asks for someone, tell him or her, “Okay, hold on.” Set the phone down and then pick it up again a few moments later. Begin with an Australian accented, “G’day mate!” After a few words, change to a Swedish accent, then a Southern or Boston one. Keep it up for as long as you can.
#9— If asked to buy the product, as you will undoubtedly be, say, “Well, if you can fold up that script you’re reading and recite your sales pitch from memory, I’ll consider it.”
#10— The never-fail tactic……………………..hang up the phone.
PS: Sometimes THEY hang up.
Originally posted by AttilaTheHornYeah, good one. I told a newspaper seller that "no I don't want any newspapers, I don't have a parakeet. Good bye." Then I hung up.
I had a telemarketer call me the other day trying to sell me carpet cleaning. I asked them, "Can you get blood out of the carpet, lots and lots of human blood. It's all over the place, soaked into the carpet, on the walls, everywhere." They quickly hung up.
Originally posted by Sargent CarpfaceHehe, I like that one - you could also let them hang up and try again then tell them that they got the your number wrong with the last person they called.
#8— When the telemarketer asks for someone, tell him or her, “Okay, hold on.” Set the phone down and then pick it up again a few moments later. Begin with an Australian accented, “G’day mate!” After a few words, change to a Swedish accent, then a Southern or Boston one. Keep it up for as long as you can.
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