General Forum

General Forum

  1. Standard memberHand of Hecate
    Cock Fighter
    Mongo
    Joined
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    14630
    10 May '18 23:05
    Phillips makes some great products and their cordless beard trimmer is amongst them. Unfortunately, nowhere in their literature does it say not to use said beard trim to touch up your undercarriage.

    Anyway, upon discovering that the guard clips on and off and determining that a reasonably close shave could had, "why not" I thought to myself "hit ol' big Jim and the twins with a quick once over. Worked like a charm. Smooth and silky soft with clean edging. Picasso would have been proud.

    The first three goes went great, but, I guess I got a little complacent on try number 4. The shaver snagged my nutsack and savaged it unmercifully. Upon pulling it free I managed to stab Big Jim and almost sawed him off at the root. Needless to say, my jumbles looked like they'd been hit with a weedwacker. The bleeding was impressive and I left big bloody dong prints in my wife's best hand towels. Truly horrific.

    Consider this a public service announcement.
  2. Subscriberlemondrop
    pawn grabber
    Joined
    19 Jul '13
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    209303
    10 May '18 23:161 edit
    Originally posted by @hand-of-hecate
    Phillips makes some great products and their cordless beard trimmer is amongst them. Unfortunately, nowhere in their literature does it say not to use said beard trim to touch up your undercarriage.

    Anyway, upon discovering that the guard clips on and off and determining that a reasonably close shave could had, "why not" I thought to myself "hit ...[text shortened]... in my wife's best hand towels. Truly horrific.

    Consider this a public service announcement.
    if the result had been fatal or resulted in sterilization , you would have gotten a Darwin award
    I see an award coming!
  3. Standard memberwolfgang59
    Mr. Wolf
    at home
    Joined
    09 Jun '07
    Moves
    46064
    11 May '18 02:12
    Originally posted by @hand-of-hecate
    Phillips makes some great products and their cordless beard trimmer is amongst them. Unfortunately, nowhere in their literature does it say not to use said beard trim to touch up your undercarriage.

    Anyway, upon discovering that the guard clips on and off and determining that a reasonably close shave could had, "why not" I thought to myself "hit ...[text shortened]... in my wife's best hand towels. Truly horrific.

    Consider this a public service announcement.
    My legs just went wobbly. 😕
  4. Joined
    16 Feb '08
    Moves
    89480
    11 May '18 04:29
    Originally posted by @hand-of-hecate
    Phillips makes some great products and their cordless beard trimmer is amongst them. Unfortunately, nowhere in their literature does it say not to use said beard trim to touch up your undercarriage.

    Anyway, upon discovering that the guard clips on and off and determining that a reasonably close shave could had, "why not" I thought to myself "hit ...[text shortened]... in my wife's best hand towels. Truly horrific.

    Consider this a public service announcement.
    Obviously you need a steady hand, Hand.
  5. Mar-a-Lago
    Joined
    02 Aug '11
    Moves
    8962
    11 May '18 07:44
    Originally posted by @hand-of-hecate
    The first three goes went great, but, I guess I got a little complacent on try number 4. The shaver snagged my nutsack and savaged it unmercifully. Upon pulling it free I managed to stab Big Jim and almost sawed him off at the root. Needless to say, my jumbles looked like they'd been hit with a weedwacker. The bleeding was impressive and I left big b ...[text shortened]... in my wife's best hand towels. Truly horrific.

    Consider this a public service announcement.
    You are certainly not being boastful by telling us you left big bloody dong prints on your wife's best bath towels. 😉
  6. Standard membersonhouse
    Fast and Curious
    slatington, pa, usa
    Joined
    28 Dec '04
    Moves
    52874
    11 May '18 17:121 edit
    Originally posted by @hand-of-hecate
    Phillips makes some great products and their cordless beard trimmer is amongst them. Unfortunately, nowhere in their literature does it say not to use said beard trim to touch up your undercarriage.

    Anyway, upon discovering that the guard clips on and off and determining that a reasonably close shave could had, "why not" I thought to myself "hit ...[text shortened]... in my wife's best hand towels. Truly horrific.

    Consider this a public service announcement.
    Couldn't have happened to a nicer guy. Hope that means you will be able to spread your suspicious genes to anyone else. Hopefully you have not reproduced yet. Save the race! Don't reproduce.
  7. SubscriberVery Rusty
    Treat Everyone Equal
    Halifax, Nova Scotia
    Joined
    04 Oct '06
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    434834
    11 May '18 17:26
    Originally posted by @sonhouse
    Couldn't have happened to a nicer guy. Hope that means you will be able to spread your suspicious genes to anyone else. Hopefully you have not reproduced yet. Save the race! Don't reproduce.
    Damn sonhouse,

    You beat me to saying it!!! 😉

    -VR
  8. SubscriberGhost of a Duke
    A Spirited Misfit
    in London
    Joined
    14 Mar '15
    Moves
    12373
    11 May '18 17:28
    Originally posted by @hand-of-hecate
    Phillips makes some great products and their cordless beard trimmer is amongst them. Unfortunately, nowhere in their literature does it say not to use said beard trim to touch up your undercarriage.

    Anyway, upon discovering that the guard clips on and off and determining that a reasonably close shave could had, "why not" I thought to myself "hit ...[text shortened]... in my wife's best hand towels. Truly horrific.

    Consider this a public service announcement.
    I appreciate the warning sir. I was about to carry out the same 'tidy up' procedure with the giant electric sheers from the garden shed, but am now questioning whether or not that is the best way to proceed.
  9. SubscriberVery Rusty
    Treat Everyone Equal
    Halifax, Nova Scotia
    Joined
    04 Oct '06
    Moves
    434834
    11 May '18 17:54
    Originally posted by @ghost-of-a-duke
    I appreciate the warning sir. I was about to carry out the same 'tidy up' procedure with the giant electric sheers from the garden shed, but am now questioning whether or not that is the best way to proceed.
    LOL...So you don't want to wind up with a big bloody dong on your hands!!! 😉

    Well, we only have your word on that one! 😛

    -VR
  10. Standard membersonhouse
    Fast and Curious
    slatington, pa, usa
    Joined
    28 Dec '04
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    52874
    11 May '18 17:59
    Originally posted by @very-rusty
    LOL...So you don't want to wind up with a big bloody dong on your hands!!! 😉

    Well, we only have your word on that one! 😛

    -VR
    He (if indeed IT is a he) is undoubtedly putting out a BS post just to see the reactions.
  11. SubscriberVery Rusty
    Treat Everyone Equal
    Halifax, Nova Scotia
    Joined
    04 Oct '06
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    434834
    11 May '18 18:082 edits
    Originally posted by @sonhouse
    He (if indeed IT is a he) is undoubtedly putting out a BS post just to see the reactions.
    Are we talking about Goad or Hand here?

    If we are talking about Hand, I am pretty sure he is a male or went through a lot of trouble to get pictures of him sitting with a dog,etc.,etc.. He also has rifles to protect himself as he is useless in a physical confrontation. 😉 He does love saying things just to get a reaction, which always seems to work!

    Not completely sure about Goad, but I believe him to be male, talks like a dude, but then we have had a few women on here who did also!!!

    -VR
  12. Standard membersonhouse
    Fast and Curious
    slatington, pa, usa
    Joined
    28 Dec '04
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    52874
    11 May '18 19:23
    Originally posted by @very-rusty
    Are we talking about Goad or Hand here?

    If we are talking about Hand, I am pretty sure he is a male or went through a lot of trouble to get pictures of him sitting with a dog,etc.,etc.. He also has rifles to protect himself as he is useless in a physical confrontation. 😉 He does love saying things just to get a reaction, which always seems to work! ...[text shortened]... m to be male, talks like a dude, but then we have had a few women on here who did also!!!

    -VR
    Hand. What did he say when you told him you got pics of him and his dog? Payback is a bitch,eh. You remember what he did to me, posting pics of my house and full name?
  13. Subscriberlemondrop
    pawn grabber
    Joined
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    209303
    11 May '18 19:581 edit
    Originally posted by @sonhouse
    Hand. What did he say when you told him you got pics of him and his dog? Payback is a bitch,eh. You remember what he did to me, posting pics of my house and full name?
  14. SubscriberVery Rusty
    Treat Everyone Equal
    Halifax, Nova Scotia
    Joined
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    434834
    11 May '18 21:28
    Originally posted by @sonhouse
    Hand. What did he say when you told him you got pics of him and his dog? Payback is a bitch,eh. You remember what he did to me, posting pics of my house and full name?
    Actually he had them posted. I didn't save the pics, neither him his dog or rifles interested me.

    No, I didn't hear about him posting pics of your house and full name. I certainly wouldn't put it past him, and how did he get a hold of that info?

    -VR
  15. Standard memberHand of Hecate
    Cock Fighter
    Mongo
    Joined
    08 Feb '05
    Moves
    14630
    11 May '18 21:49
    Originally posted by @captain-strange
    You are certainly not being boastful by telling us you left big bloody dong prints on your wife's best bath towels. 😉
    I believe any sized dong print on her new towels, combined with blood splattered bathroom tile, would have been just as poorly received by my wife.
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