Religous jokes

A paratrooper making his first real jump was terrified. His instructor told him, "If anything goes wrong, just call on the Buddha, and you will be saved."

The paratrooper got so scared that he forgot to pull his rip cord. So he cried out, "Buddha, oh Buddha!" and a hand came out and saved him.

In great relief, he exclaimed, "Oh, thank God!"—and was dropped.
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One day a young Buddhist on his journey home, came to the banks of a deep, wide river with no way to cross. He wandered upstream and downstream for hours, searching for a way across the obstacle. Just as he was about to give up he saw a well-known Zen Master on the other side of the river. The young Buddhist yells over to the teacher "Oh wise Master , can you tell me how to get to the other side of this river"?

The Zen master ponders for a moment looks up and down the river—and yells back, "My son, you are on the other side..."

Originally posted by vistesd
A paratrooper making his first real jump was terrified. His instructor told him, "If anything goes wrong, just call on the Buddha, and you will be saved."

The paratrooper got so scared that he forgot to pull his rip cord. So he cried out, "Buddha, oh Buddha!" and a hand came out and saved him.

In great relief, he exclaimed, "Oh, thank God!"—and was dropped.

I ought to boycott all our games! 🙂

Originally posted by vistesd
A paratrooper making his first real jump was terrified. His instructor told him, "If anything goes wrong, just call on the Buddha, and you will be saved."

The paratrooper got so scared that he forgot to pull his rip cord. So he cried out, "Buddha, oh Buddha!" and a hand came out and saved him.

In great relief, he exclaimed, "Oh, thank God!"—and was ks up and down the river—and yells back, "My son, you are on the other side..."

LOL

This is the kind of jokes I wanted in this thread. Not the kind that would diminish any religion, but all in good fun. I just can't tell them like that. Great contribution vistesd! 😵

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Zarathustra once met a very heartbroken young man and asked him: "What is this terrible thing that can fill a young heart like yours with so much trouble?". The man looked up at Zarathustra and answered: "I feel so lonely. Like there is no meaning to life." Zarathustra replied: "Surely it cannot be that bad? Can you not hear the birds sing? Does it not strengthen your spirit to breathe this fresh air? Is there not marvelous wonders all around us? The flowers that fills the air with their intoxicating smell; do they not please you in both colour and grace? All the young and beautiful women looking at you with admiration and joyful laughter in their eyes; do they not arouse your spirit to perform deeds of heoric purity?" The man said: "There is only one woman for me. And she would not have me." "Aaah", said Zarathustra: "I see. So your heart has been broken and now you are filled with despair that you cannot control any more than the feelings of joy while you still had hope for her love and admiration. I must sit here next to you and think about this problem if I am to help you." The young man replied: "There is no helping me. I must end my life for it has no meaning anymore." "Oh no, young man. Don't do that. To take your own life would be a bigger crime against creation than to sit here and despair when there are so many natural sources of joy all around you. No, I will sit here with you until your heart limps out into the sunlight once again and you can manage to see the irony of this whole situation." Shocked the young man looked up at Zarathustra: "What irony? Do you find it ironic that I am sitting here, crushed and with no will to live? Do you find it amusing that the love of my life do not bear me the same thoughts and feelings that I have for her?" Zarathustra laughed and said: "No, I find it ironic that you are sitting here glooming in your despair, talking about ending your life when in fact you will soon come to life like you never thought possible." "What are you talking about?" the young man asked, slightly irritated. Zarathustra replied: "I am talking about that big and very annoyed mole behind you who's nest you're sitting on."

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[Edit]

Uhm, come to think of it, a mole may not be the correct animal to put there. It's not like he's going to die of a mole attack. < -- Now, that's amusing.

Originally posted by lucifershammer
I ought to boycott all our games! 🙂

LOL! The way I've been playing against you, maybe I should urge you in that direction...! 😉

Religious jokes?

Christianity...

Originally posted by KnightWulfe
Religious jokes?

Christianity...

Ha ha.

Originally posted by lucifershammer
Ha ha.

Sorry, I couldnt resist....

Was just a joke.

Originally posted by KnightWulfe
Sorry, I couldnt resist....

Was just a joke.

Any particular reason you chose Christianity and not, say, Buddhism?

Originally posted by lucifershammer
Any particular reason you chose Christianity and not, say, Buddhism?

Because it was the first religion that popped to mind.

LuciferStammer makes interesting, well informed posts.

Originally posted by howardgee
LuciferStammer makes interesting, well informed posts.

Thank you. I wish I could say the same of you. Perhaps some day I will be able to; but first you'll have to get past juvenile name-calling. It just makes you look like someone not yet old enough for a driver's licence.

Originally posted by lucifershammer
Thank you. I wish I could say the same of you. Perhaps some day I will be able to; but first you'll have to get past juvenile name-calling. It just makes you look like someone not yet old enough for a driver's licence.

It was a good joke.

Glad you enjoyed it.

Originally posted by howardgee
It was a good joke.

Glad you enjoyed it.

HG, you took a little break from spirituality. Back for a while?

Originally posted by Halitose
HG, you took a little break from spirituality. Back for a while?

He reminds of those guerillas with the hit and run moves.

Originally posted by howardgee
LuciferStammer makes interesting, well informed posts.

I think Howard's jeep backfired there... 😞