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CRISIS Magazine

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Jan Crouch

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why did the altar boy sleep with his teacher?

to make his priest jealous!

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?

A. You'd be surprised how persuasive Jesus is

1 edit
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Bob Jones University

http://www.bju.edu/academics/umajors.html

Note that several of their undergraduate majors are gender-segregated.
For example:

Bible, and Bible (Women)
Camp Ministries, and Camp Ministries (Women)
Church Music, and Church Music (Women)
Mathematics, and Mathematics (Women)

(I made that last one up, but their Missionary Aviation major is in fact gender-segregated as well.)

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Well he has managed to con billions of people so far and counting.

Haw Haw Hawwwwwwwwwwww

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Another visual joke...

Q: What is this?

*Darvlay lifts his wrists to his mouth and starts chewing on them*

A: Jesus biting his nails.

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Far away in the tropical waters of the Caribbean, two prawns were swimming around in the sea - one called Justin and the other called Christian.

The prawns were constantly being harassed and threatened by sharks that inhabited the area. Finally one day Justin said to Christian, "I'm fed up with being a prawn, I wish I was a shark, then I wouldn't have any worries about being eaten."

A large mysterious cod appeared and said, "Your wish is granted" and lo and behold, Justin turned into a shark.

Horrified, Christian immediately swam away, afraid of being eaten by his old mate.

Time passed (as it invariably does) and Justin found life as a shark boring and lonely. All his old mates simply swam away whenever he came close to them. Justin didn't realise that his new menacing appearance was the cause of his sad plight.

While swimming alone one day he saw the mysterious cod again and he thought perhaps the mysterious fish could change him back into a prawn.

He approached the cod and begged to be changed back, and, lo and behold, he found himself turned back into a prawn.

With tears of joy in his tiny little eyes Justin swam back to his friends and bought them all a cocktail.

Looking around the gathering at the reef he realised he couldn't see his old pal.

"Where's Christian?" he asked.

"He's at home, still distraught that his best friend changed sides and became a shark", came the reply.

Eager to put things right again and end the mutual pain and torture, he set off to Christian's abode. As he opened the coral gate memories came flooding back. He banged on the door and shouted,"It's me, Justin, your old friend, come out and see me again."

Christian replied, "No way man, you'll eat me. You're now a shark, the enemy, and I'll not be tricked into being your dinner."

Justin cried back "No, I'm not. That was the old me. I've changed."

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"I've found Cod. I'm a Prawn again, Christian."

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OK, I gotta rec this for the "ugh" factor--well, I'll admit, I laughed, but I'm seeking therapy tomorrow...

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Originally posted by vistesd
OK, I gotta rec this for the "ugh" factor--well, I'll admit, I laughed, but I'm seeking therapy tomorrow...
😀...I know what you mean, I got it as e-mail.

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Q.Why did God cross the road.

A.Well, are you gunna try and stop him?

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The Archdiocese of Boston

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Liberty University

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Hello, what's this?

A single thread for jokes? What a great idea!

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Originally posted by DoctorScribbles
Bob Jones University

http://www.bju.edu/academics/umajors.html

Note that several of their undergraduate majors are gender-segregated.
For example:

Bible, and Bible (Women)
Camp Ministries, and Camp Ministries (Women)
Church Music, and Church Music (Women)
Mathematics, and Mathematics (Women)

(I made that last one up, but their Missionary Aviation major is in fact gender-segregated as well.)
Do you suppose "camp ministries" is in a last ditch desperate attempt to catch the gay vote and retain some credulity and relevance in todays world?