Should I attend?

Originally posted by DoctorScribbles
Such plans are in place. There will be no Bible readings or petitions for a holy blessing.

If you would not be offended, I would be open to providing a blessing as such for an appropiate affirmation of your love that I could post on the site. Just let me know if and when.

Originally posted by Starrman
I was questioning the existence of a free lunch.

Another problem is that my partner has a real issue with hot desperate women, she may not see the funny side.

Oh, this is interesting.

Let me first say that I respect whatever you choose to believe or not believe.

You mentioned earlier that you do not believe in marriage, yet you have a 'partner'. What, in your mind, is the demonstrable difference between a wife and a partner? Further, what do you have against marriage, assuming it is conducted at city hall or something?

TheSkipper

Originally posted by TheSkipper
Oh, this is interesting.

Let me first say that I respect whatever you choose to believe or not believe.

You mentioned earlier that you do not believe in marriage, yet you have a 'partner'. What, in your mind, is the demonstrable difference between a wife and a partner? Further, what do you have against marriage, assuming it is conducted at city hall or something?

TheSkipper

My partner is the person I choose to have a relationship with, nothing more. A wife is someone I would have signed a legally binding agreement with, possibly in the site of god and someone I would be committing to spend my life with regardless of the possible situations that might arise.

It is the institution of marriage I have a problem with. I feel that it is seen as a guarantee of a good arena to raise children, when it fails time and time again. I feel it is often too constrictive for people to adhere to. I think that this pressure can be intolerable to the point where the marriage breaks down. I know only one family that is old and happy and even then the father had an affair and it is only a rare amount of understanding and trust that has ensured it has overcome this. These are rare qualities in this time.

IMO if the social perceptions of relationships were free of the prejudice of the need for marriage, then dynamic and trusting relationships could be more stable and nourish the development of children.

Please understand I am not saying that all marriages are doomed to fail, nor that I have any concrete solution to the issue, I know my ideas of a world without marriage is in part conjecture. I am just of the opinon that marriage is unnecessary and that too much emphasis is put on it.

Originally posted by Starrman
My partner is the person I choose to have a relationship with, nothing more. A wife is someone I would have signed a legally binding agreement with, possibly in the site of god and someone I would be committing to spend my life with regardless of the possible situations that might arise.

It is the institution of marriage I have a problem with. I feel ...[text shortened]... . I am just of the opinon that marriage is unnecessary and that too much emphasis is put on it.

As far as your original dilemma goes, you need to decide whether or not your *not* going would be blindly dogmatic to your view that marriage is irrelevant.
Sure, you can be an uncompromising b@stard, or you could be diplomatic and have a nice time, choice is yours. 🙂

Starrman, I'm curious if your partner ever wanted to get married or even married in a church, what would your reaction be?

Originally posted by kirksey957
Starrman, I'm curious if your partner ever wanted to get married or even married in a church, what would your reaction be?

Well I cannot say for sure. But, I am of the opinion that I am the sort of person that is probably most attracted to people with a similar mind set. I am fortunate that my partner shares my views. I can honestly not say for sure, I can't even decide to go to someone else's wedding, let alone my own 🙂

Originally posted by Starrman
Well I cannot say for sure. But, I am of the opinion that I am the sort of person that is probably most attracted to people with a similar mind set. I am fortunate that my partner shares my views. I can honestly not say for sure, I can't even decide to go to someone else's wedding, let alone my own 🙂

Post a pic of her on RHP faces and I'll let ya know what I think.

Originally posted by Starrman
My partner is the person I choose to have a relationship with, nothing more. A wife is someone I would have signed a legally binding agreement with, possibly in the site of god and someone I would be committing to spend my life with regardless of the possible situations that might arise.

It is the institution of marriage I have a problem with. I feel ...[text shortened]... . I am just of the opinon that marriage is unnecessary and that too much emphasis is put on it.

IMO Marriage is a good thing, otherwise when children are involved, that will mess things up for them, and it will cause a moral downgrade to the comunity,

Originally posted by flyUnity
IMO Marriage is a good thing, otherwise when children are involved, that will mess things up for them, and it will cause a moral downgrade to the comunity,

Would you care to elaborate on this? How will it mess things up for the children and how will it cause a moral downgrade in the community?

Originally posted by Starrman
Two of my friends are getting married. Originally it was not supposed to be either a marriage in the traditional way, more a declaration of partnership and mutual love in front of their friends. Also it was not prevously a religious affair as neither of them can be considered particularly practicing of their beliefs. However to please the parents they hav ...[text shortened]... y friends down, or decline the invitation and remain true to my feelings but upset my friends?

With out doubt you should go! Friendship is the highest principal there is!!!

Originally posted by Starrman
Two of my friends are getting married. Originally it was not supposed to be either a marriage in the traditional way, more a declaration of partnership and mutual love in front of their friends. Also it was not prevously a religious affair as neither of them can be considered particularly practicing of their beliefs. However to please the parents they hav ...[text shortened]... y friends down, or decline the invitation and remain true to my feelings but upset my friends?

STAY HOME AND GET DRUNK!
problen number 83866096324965872430956 solved once again by beer...

"This message brought to you by Bacardi 151... hel yeah you can drink it strait."

Originally posted by Starrman

So my question for debate is, should I attend and be a hypocrite to my beliefs but avoid letting my friends down, or decline the invitation and remain true to my feelings but upset my friends?

I attend these events as an disinterested observer. I enjoy seeing how 'believers' behave. It strengthen's my atheism. Attend and enjoy the show. It is not hypocrisy.

Originally posted by Starrman
IMO if the social perceptions of relationships were free of the prejudice of the need for marriage, then dynamic and trusting relationships could be more stable and nourish the development of children.

I beg to differ. A relationship cannot be both dynamic and stable (in the long run). That would have an adverse impact on the development of children - no matter what social prejudices exist.

Originally posted by lucifershammer
I beg to differ. A relationship cannot be both dynamic and stable (in the long run). That would have an adverse impact on the development of children - no matter what social prejudices exist.

I would argue that a relationship must be dynamic to be stable in the present world. Certainly the world I live in is changing so quickly and the pressures are so more intense than when I grew up, that a situation without dynamics must surely fail. Adherence to such closed functions as marriage cause more strain on people as the concept is becoming less relevant to modern life. Now I'm not saying this is a world wide thing, I can only talk from my own experience on this, but I believe that in the future you will see more dynamic relationships, rising divorce rates and falling marriage numbers. I am no sociologist though, I'm just offering my opinion and I do not think that it will have a necessarily adverse effect on the development of children.

Originally posted by demonseed
But the ad hominem attacks are what makes debating here such fun.

Did you really expect a cogent, well disciplined argument?

Don't make me laugh.

Demonseed: "But the ad hominem attacks are what makes debating here such fun."

The mods and certainly the admins should take good notice of this (for a growing number of people) true observation.