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Dear human,
Do you wake up in the middle of the night crying in despair?
Do you have problems getting an erection while drunk?
Do you think your existence is flawed?
Do you feel closer to God?
Do you need to put down people at a chess website to feel better?
Do you feel scared to undress in a public sauna?
Do you drool when talking about ropes, guns or poison?
Do you vote for the conservatives?
Feel free to expose your case at the virtual divan of Dr. Seitse, who will kindly help you as Dr. Phil cannot.
Originally posted by SeitseI harbor deep seated resentment towards by neighbour's carved wooden Pelican lawn ornaments. I often fantasize about setting it free with a small bonfire. I also shot his dog in the pooper with a BB gun after he took a crap on my driveway. I plan on planting some claymore mines in my flower garden should that four legged turd machine get any fancy ideas. Most recently my neighbour paved his yard with white rock so he wouldn't have to mow his yard. The homeowners association rules do not specifically speak out against this practice and I fear that I may need to drive a bulldozer into living room. Additionally, keeps talking to me, despite my obvious lack of interest. He's abnormally cheerful and oblivious to my loathing.
Dear human,
Do you wake up in the middle of the night crying in despair?
Do you have problems getting an erection while drunk?
Do you think your existence is flawed?
Do you feel closer to God?
Do you need to put down people at a chess website to feel better?
Do you feel scared to undress in a public sauna?
Do you drool when talking about ropes, guns ...[text shortened]... xpose your case at the virtual divan of Dr. Seitse, who will kindly help you as Dr. Phil cannot.
Dr. Seitse, am I wrong in wanting to castrate my neighbour with a weed wacker?
Originally posted by Hand of HecateDear Mr. Hecate,
I harbor deep seated resentment towards by neighbour's carved wooden Pelican lawn ornaments. I often fantasize about setting it free with a small bonfire. I also shot his dog in the pooper with a BB gun after he took a crap on my driveway. I plan on planting some claymore mines in my flower garden should that four legged turd machine get any fancy ...[text shortened]... loathing.
Dr. Seitse, am I wrong in wanting to castrate my neighbour with a weed wacker?
Sigmund Freud (who was clearly on cocaine and lived his life secretly dressing himself as a woman for sexual gratification), wisely identified the Oral Stage of Psychosexual devlopment (0-18 months) as a phase which consequences are passive dependence (or excessive smoking/eating).
This, of course, has nothing to do with your problem. However, I enjoy a lot recapitulating it for the morbid pleasure it provides me. Your problem, on the other hand, is not a problem but a consequence of your poor performance in a capitalist society, which has led you to live in a neighbor which lacks the class you expect from your peers. Therefore, I recommend to boost your income so you can either (a) hire a professional hitman to eliminate your neighbor and then a lawyer to cover all the traces, or (b) move to a nicer neighborhood where you can alternate with Hollywood stars craving for expensive drugs and orgiastic sessions.
My conclusion is that you are a sane and balanced person who would deserve a license to kill in a society where such licenses could be issued.
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Originally posted by eagles54Dear Mr. Eagles,
guilty.
At the age of 54 is hard to get it hard. I understand that and feel your pain. However, there is nothing to be ashamed of since you still can obtain gratification by other means, i.e. ropes! (as you wisely pointed out).
I would recommend to forget all your problems regarding a worthy erection, and go to the nearest brothel, where for a quite decent amount a blonde beauty will strap you on while you are tied with a manly, rusty, thick, smelly rope.
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Originally posted by Sicilian SmaugDear Mr. Smaug,
Are you a real Doctor?
Your disbelief in other people's qualities and professional abilities ressembles an inferiority complex heavily incrusted between your Anal and Phallic stages (18 months and 6 years, according to Dominatrix Freud).
You are cureless. Please consider running for a seat in the parliament.
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Originally posted by SeitseIt is also my belief, based on considerable observation that you are an idiot.
Dear Mr. Hecate,
Sigmund Freud (who was clearly on cocaine and lived his life secretly dressing himself as a woman for sexual gratification), wisely identified the Oral Stage of Psychosexual devlopment (0-18 months) as a phase which consequences are passive dependence (or excessive smoking/eating).
This, of course, has nothing to do with your problem. H ...[text shortened]... n who would deserve a license to kill in a society where such licenses could be issued.
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Originally posted by Hand of HecateSee how soon you are cured?
It is also my belief, based on considerable observation that you are an idiot.
We agree on something: I think you are one too! 😉
Prescription: Continue to be gang raped by narcisistic person who were abused as childs, i.e. Xanthos!
Originally posted by sasquatch672Dear Mr. Quatch,
I think you have nominated yourself for the "Get Beaten With A Hammer By Sasquatch" list for shooting a dog.
At the age of 672 (!!!) I find it marvelous that you still have the strength to take on such great tasks as beating a flaw of the capitalistic model like Mr. Hecate (a.k.a. The Market Failure).
Prescription: Carry on with your plans!
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"Have you ever noticed how frightened people are of confrontation--even if it just means the slightest bit of displeasure from another person? Normally, these non-confronters think of themselves as "very good and moral people" and believe the reason they do not confront is to save another's feelings. But in truth, they are so afraid of causing themselves a moment's displeasure, that they will do anything to get out of being direct with another person. "
http://drhelen.blogspot.com/2006/05/psychology-of-confrontation.html
Thus, I concur with Dr. Helen and recommend Mr. Hecate and Mr. Quatch to lock themselves alone in a cell, naked and armed with a machine gun (for Mr. Quatch) and a toothpick (for Mr. Hecate) so they can confront their differences.
Another success story of Dr. Seitse's virtual divan.
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