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Originally posted by SeitseI agree, but Mr. Xenhomophobe would still need more advantages to make it a fair fight.
Thus, I concur with Dr. Helen and recommend Mr. Hecate and Mr. Quatch to lock themselves alone in a cell, naked and armed with a machine gun (for Mr. Quatch) and a toothpick (for Mr. Hecate) so they can confront their differences.
Originally posted by SeitseDear Dr.,
Dear human,
Do you wake up in the middle of the night crying in despair?
Do you have problems getting an erection while drunk?
Do you think your existence is flawed?
Do you feel closer to God?
Do you need to put down people at a chess website to feel better?
Do you feel scared to undress in a public sauna?
Do you drool when talking about ropes, guns ...[text shortened]... xpose your case at the virtual divan of Dr. Seitse, who will kindly help you as Dr. Phil cannot.
I've never had an erection, and I'm in my late 40s! I prefer to cry in despair during the day; I hate soggy pillows.
Can you help me?
Originally posted by cadwahDear Mr. Wah,
Dr Seitse, I suffered a problem getting an erection whilst drunk yesterday. A real hot chick walked past and as I turned I knocked my beer of the table. :'(
Although your last name is tremendously cool and trendy, specially in New York underground jazz scene, I feel being named Cad may bring some trouble in the near future regarding your self-esteem.
As for knocking beers off the table, not only you deserve to be b1tch-slapped by the American Association of Dipsomaniacs (AAD) but also should watch for how much "exercise" you perform with that arm while watching alone the Jerry Springer Show.
I would prescribe for you a session of Andy.-
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Originally posted by reader1107Dear Mrs. 1107,
Dear Dr.,
I've never had an erection, and I'm in my late 40s! I prefer to cry in despair during the day; I hate soggy pillows.
Can you help me?
As soon as you achieve an erection, please PM me and I will send immediately a squad of the brightest scientists of the country, so they can take notes on the miracle of a woman achieving an erection.
As soon as the latter concludes, I will be happy to offer you my services as a showbiz manager, so we can tour the Freak Shows of so developed states as Delaware, Idaho, Montana, Wyoming, South Carolina, and Texas.
Finally, as for your crying, I would recommend buying Paris Hilton CD and listen 2 hours a day during 14 days. If the problem persists, I will be happy to channel you to the Suicide Emergency Line.
Yours trully.
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Originally posted by SeitseDoes being a circus freak pay better than teaching in a Catholic school? OH, wait. I think Welfare pays more!
Dear Mrs. 1107,
As soon as you achieve an erection, please PM me and I will send immediately a squad of the brightest scientists of the country, so they can take notes on the miracle of a woman achieving an erection.
As soon as the latter concludes, I will be happy to offer you my services as a showbiz manager, so we can tour the Freak Shows of so devel ...[text shortened]... ersists, I will be happy to channel you to the Suicide Emergency Line.
Yours trully.
Next!
Well, according to my e-mail, I should be able to have one!
I'm also sad that it's been hours since my most recent e-mail from the Fifth Third Bank (or something like that). I worry that they don't love me any more.
Oh, well.
Thanks, doc!
Originally posted by StarrmanDear Mr. Man,
Dear Dr Seitse,
I have an inalienable desire to defend to the death my right to kill Red Night, is this likely to cause me problems in later life?
I am afraid to inform you that although it is said that he works as go-go dancer at a Latvian strip club where he performs deviant acts on stage disguised as a cheerleader, the truth is that Mr. Night happens to be a very lawyer who makes a living suing supermarkets after dropping bananas on the floor and delivering to the "victims" of accidents his card. He also advertises himself on the local TV, falsely saying "Se Habla Espanol" (you can reach him through 1-800-GET-RICH-INCOURT)
Therefore, I conclude that your contained rage is not only natural but healthy, though I would be more worried if your murdering attempt fails, for he would make you sh!t coins in court. Therefore, you should make sure any attempt to kill him succeeds; for what I advise
Always bearing in mind you should pull the trigger at a distance not exceeding the 2 meters.
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Originally posted by reader1107Hey reader! Do you use Fifth Third Bank? I remember them from my time in Cincinnati.
Does being a circus freak pay better than teaching in a Catholic school? OH, wait. I think Welfare pays more!
Well, according to my e-mail, I should be able to have one!
I'm also sad that it's been hours since my most recent e-mail from the Fifth Third Bank (or something like that). I worry that they don't love me any more.
Oh, well.
Thanks, doc!
Originally posted by reader1107Dear Mrs. 1107,
Does being a circus freak pay better than teaching in a Catholic school? OH, wait. I think Welfare pays more!
Well, according to my e-mail, I should be able to have one!
I'm also sad that it's been hours since my most recent e-mail from the Fifth Third Bank (or something like that). I worry that they don't love me any more.
Oh, well.
Thanks, doc!
Always at your services. If your idea of being love is proportional to the amount of e-mail you receive, I can give you the following advise.-
1. Stop paying your taxes
2. Suscribe to www.iwantlotsofporn.com
3. Request the newsletter from L'Osservatore Romano
http://www.vatican.va/news_services/or/
With my warmest regards
Originally posted by RookRAKAh! Another success story of Dr. Seitse's virtual divan.
Hey reader! Do you use Fifth Third Bank? I remember them from my time in Cincinnati.
In the waiting room, Mr. Rak and Mrs. 1107 meet and start
an everlasting relationship strongly cemented on guilty sex,
co-dependency, distrust, and jealousy.
Originally posted by reader1107Yup - real bank with a funny name (some kind of merger of fifth national bank and third national bank). They are based in Cincinnati. I had an account with them for years (no longer), but I don't get any spam from them. You musta got on the wrong list (as if there is a "right" list)
Are they for real? They're suddenly having a spamathon with my e-mail account.
Originally posted by SeitseDear Doc, after attempting to watch your prescriptive video I feel the need to discuss another of my problems. After only 21 seconds of that vid I felt the urge to maim unsuspecting passers-by. I am currenly dropping kitchen knives out of my 3rd story window out onto the street. I have scored 3 direct hits up to now, sadly upon closer inspection not one of my victims was that annoying little twerp.
I would prescribe for you a session of Andy.-
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8_lzKs6VutI
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