funny quotes

Maybe we have sold one million electric cars before the opening of the new berlin airport.
Dieter Zetsche, Daimler

Maybe this is more funny in Germany...but still.

Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.

Elbert Hubbard

"On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron." H. L. Mencken


Read more at:

https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/h/h_l_mencken.html

A man marries to have a home, but also because he doesn't want to be bothered with sex and all that sort of thing. - W. Somerset Maugham

America has to import so many workers because
for the last 35 years we have aborted more than a
million people who would have been in our workforce.
Mike Huckabee

When nothing is going right, go left.

Anonymous

OK, so what's the speed of dark?

Steven Wright

To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone.

Reba McEntire

One of life's greatest mysteries is how the boy who wasn't good enough to marry your daughter can be the father of the smartest grandchild in the world. ~ Proverb

"That makes covering Donald Trump so difficult: What does he mean when he says words."

Zachary Wolf on CNN

I'm very pleased to be here. Let's face it, at my age I'm very pleased to be anywhere. - George Burns

"Now I have to tell you, an unbelievably complex subject, nobody knew that healthcare could be so complicated " Donald J Trump

“I’ve said if Ivanka weren’t my daughter, perhaps I’d be dating her.”

Donald Trump



Edit: sorry, not trying to turn this thread into a Trump thing.