funny quotes

funny quotes

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chemist

Linkenheim

Joined
22 Apr 05
Moves
656297
21 Jan 17

Maybe we have sold one million electric cars before the opening of the new berlin airport.
Dieter Zetsche, Daimler

Maybe this is more funny in Germany...but still.

Constant Gardener

The Plot

Joined
07 Aug 12
Moves
51805
21 Jan 17

Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.

Elbert Hubbard

p

Joined
27 Dec 05
Moves
143878
21 Jan 17

p

Joined
27 Dec 05
Moves
143878
21 Jan 17

Über-Nerd

Joined
31 May 12
Moves
8338
21 Jan 17

"On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron." H. L. Mencken


Read more at:

https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/h/h_l_mencken.html

Gothenburg

Joined
11 Mar 16
Moves
27012
21 Jan 17

A man marries to have a home, but also because he doesn't want to be bothered with sex and all that sort of thing. - W. Somerset Maugham

Quiz Master

RHP Arms

Joined
09 Jun 07
Moves
48793
21 Jan 17

America has to import so many workers because
for the last 35 years we have aborted more than a
million people who would have been in our workforce.

Mike Huckabee

looking for loot

western colorado

Joined
05 Feb 11
Moves
9664
22 Jan 17

When nothing is going right, go left.

Anonymous

Good in soups

In the can! Dummy!

Joined
11 Apr 05
Moves
29584
23 Jan 17
2 edits

OK, so what's the speed of dark?

Steven Wright

chemist

Linkenheim

Joined
22 Apr 05
Moves
656297
05 Feb 17

To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone.

Reba McEntire

Joined
14 Mar 04
Moves
176578
05 Feb 17

One of life's greatest mysteries is how the boy who wasn't good enough to marry your daughter can be the father of the smartest grandchild in the world. ~ Proverb

chemist

Linkenheim

Joined
22 Apr 05
Moves
656297
13 Feb 17

"That makes covering Donald Trump so difficult: What does he mean when he says words."

Zachary Wolf on CNN

Gothenburg

Joined
11 Mar 16
Moves
27012
15 Feb 17

I'm very pleased to be here. Let's face it, at my age I'm very pleased to be anywhere. - George Burns

chemist

Linkenheim

Joined
22 Apr 05
Moves
656297
07 Mar 17

"Now I have to tell you, an unbelievably complex subject, nobody knew that healthcare could be so complicated " Donald J Trump

Joined
16 Feb 08
Moves
117006
07 Mar 17
1 edit

“I’ve said if Ivanka weren’t my daughter, perhaps I’d be dating her.”

Donald Trump



Edit: sorry, not trying to turn this thread into a Trump thing.