Jokes

The seven dwarves were in the bath feeling sleepy. Then Sleepy got out.

What did one eye say to the other? - "Between us, something smells!"


Why do birds fly south in the winter? It’s faster than walking!

Tried to catch fog today.

Mist.

@ghost-of-a-duke said
Tried to catch fog today.

Mist.

Tried to catch a plane to Germany in search of merde.

Also mist.

@earl-of-trumps said
What did one eye say to the other? - "Between us, something smells!"


Why do birds fly south in the winter? It’s faster than walking!

Dad jokes.

@suzianne said
Dad jokes.

On a tangent, why don't we ever hear about Mom Jokes?

@kevin-eleven said
On a tangent, why don't we ever hear about Mom Jokes?

There are "Yo Mama" Jokes (most of which I don't find funny 😉

joke:

Daughter: “Mom, what’s it like to have the greatest daughter in the world?”
"I don't know, aks Grandmother."

@ponderable said
There are "Yo Mama" Jokes (most of which I don't find funny 😉

joke:

Daughter: “Mom, what’s it like to have the greatest daughter in the world?”
"I don't know, aks Grandmother."

Aks grandmother? That's a bit Lizzie Borden, isn't it?

Due to the war in Ukraine, Germany policy is for all residents to ensure they have stockpiles of sausages and cheese.
... they want to prepare for the würst käse scenario.

What do you call the parent of a trans-child? a transparent.

@orangutan said
Due to the war in Ukraine, Germany policy is for all residents to ensure they have stockpiles of sausages and cheese.
... they want to prepare for the würst käse scenario.

Multi-language puns.

I approve.

What do Alexander the Great and Kermit the Frog have in common? The same middle name.

It's a five minute walk from my house to the pub, and a twenty minute walk back. The difference is staggering.

I went to the swimming pool the other day. Ended up taking a cheeky pee in the deep end.
The lifeguard was not happy though - he blew his whistle so loudly ... I nearly fell in.