Jokes

@the-gravedigger said
The dentists name is Phil McCavity.

Says the dentist: "And now open your mouth as wide as you did during my basic training Staff Seargeant"

@ponderable said
Says the dentist: "And now open your mouth as wide as you did during my basic training Staff Seargeant"

Good one Pondy! 🙂

-VR

today i learned i am the only one who can prevent forest fires
i was not ready for this kind of pressure

An old political one (inspired by the unsavoury food thread):

A French, a Polish and a Sowjet dog converse.

"If I bark I get a slice of sausage" the french dog says.
"What is sausage?" ask the Polish dog.
"Silly dog, don't you know sausage" intejects the Sowjet dog, "but what is barking?"

Does anyone know a good Lovecraft joke? All I have are a few old ones.

@shallow-blue said
Does anyone know a good Lovecraft joke? All I have are a few old ones.

The newst one I heard:

My friend HP was mad at me for drinking an IPA,
It turns out he does not lovecraft beer.

@shallow-blue said
Does anyone know a good Lovecraft joke? All I have are a few old ones.

My friend HP asked me if I liked any German bands.
I said LoveKraftwerks for me.
(sorry just made that up) 😏 😏

@The-Gravedigger
Thumbs up to the both of you, rising to the occasion like Cthulhu when R'lyeh will surface again.

I asked my friend HP who his favourite heroine was. He said Lara Lovecroft.

Astrophysics is hard. We'd love to look at distant objects, but there's always a lot of dust in the way. For decades, physicists have wondered why all that dust is there, but they've finally found out: it's because nature abhors a vacuum.

@Shallow-Blue
A guy on a speed date with a woman
- Hello! I am James. Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you too!! I am Sue. What do you do for a living, James?
- I am an Astrophysicist.
- OMG!! That's so cool. I am a Gemini...

@Ponderable
I heard about a new TV show coming out, three beautiful lady mathematicians solving really terrible crimes.
It's called "Charlie's Angles"

musk creates a penis extension scandal

media reports on "ELONGATE"

I just bought a hairpiece for $1.
It was a small price topee