Jokes

A 60 year old millionaire is getting married and throws a big wedding reception. His friends are quite jealous and in a quiet moment one of them asks him how did he land such a hot 23 year old beauty? “Simple,” grins the millionaire, “I faked my age." His friends are really amazed and ask him how much he said. "Well", he replied. "I said I was 87!"

What happens if a pirate abandons his treasure?

He gets charged with dereliction of booty.

There's this new children's book, apparently, about Schoedinger's cat and Pavlov's dog being friends. I thought I'd buy it for my neighbour's child, so I went to the book shop and asked the woman behind the counter whether they had it in stock. She said probably, it did ring a bell, but she didn't know where it was.

What did the ocean say to the beach?

Nothing, it just waved.

[yawn] Today, I got up like a pig's tail... twirly

I don't know why people speak so highly of Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson. He loses to Peter "The Paper" Williams every time.

@shallow-blue said
I don't know why people speak so highly of Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson. He loses to Peter "The Paper" Williams every time.

Man runs into a bank, goes to the teller and says;
'This is a cock - up'
Bank teller says;
'Don't you mean a stick - up?'
Man says;
'No, it's a cock - up, I forgot the gun.'

@indonesia-phil said
Man runs into a bank, goes to the teller and says;
'This is a cock - up'
Bank teller says;
'Don't you mean a stick - up?'
Man says;
'No, it's a cock - up, I forgot the gun.'

How Long is a Chinaman's name


Reveal Hidden Content

@earl-of-trumps said
How Long is a Chinaman's name


Hidden content removed

A dentist near where I live has just been arrested for drug dealing.
I had been going to him for over 20 years and never even realised he was a dentist.

@earl-of-trumps said
How Long is a Chinaman's name


Hidden content removed

@the-gravedigger said
A dentist near where I live has just been arrested for drug dealing.
I had been going to him for over 20 years and never even realised he was a dentist.

@very-rusty said
LOL.....Sounds like a true story rather than a joke! 🙂 You just never know!


-VR