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Originally posted by mokkoEvery time I imagine myself coming out of my mom's womb I feel
All brought into the world through immaculate conception I assure you. 😏
slightly nauseous. I mean, it's a good thing the walls of her specific
vagiina aren't too tempting, or I might have stayed in there, but still...
eeeewwwwww. If she was in pain, it's only because I had to push her
meat as far away from me as possible on my way out. And it wouldn't
have hurt if she'd had like walk signs in there so you could tell which
way to go. For all I know I fumbled back and forth for hours before
finally locating the proper exit.
Oh, and don't get me started on what came next. There you are. Fresh
puppy, shocked from what just transpired, hardly able to breath, and
what do they do? They shove something down your throat, slap you silly
holding you upside down and finally, when that's over and you're crying
your damn lungs out, they get the scissors out and cuts a huge chunk of
something from your body. For all they know, I wasn't ready to let go of
it just yet. (I'm still convinced they cut the wrong "string" first, by
mistake. I was destined for bigger things.)
Phew, it's a good thing I've grown up and completely forgotten about it
now. 🙄 Trauma. The trauma. A chimp king never cries though, mind
you.