Puns and One-liners

mc escher walked to school in the snow uphill both ways

@rookie54
I can't tell if this damn cat is alive or dead, Schrodinger said.

Over Christmas I got bored, so I switched the wrappers around on the sweets in a box of ‘Celebrations’

Wife’s not happy, she got her Snickers in a Twix!

Adam's apple is hard to swallow.

@divegeester said
Over Christmas I got bored, so I switched the wrappers around on the sweets in a box of ‘Celebrations’

Wife’s not happy, she got her Snickers in a Twix!

First time I've heard that one, very good. Looks like an empty post of yours would get a thumb down.

What's the name of the guy on mock the week who always does the one liners? Dude's a genius.

@trev33 said
First time I've heard that one, very good. Looks like an empty post of yours would get a thumb down.

What's the name of the guy on mock the week who always does the one liners? Dude's a genius.

Don’t know the guy I’m afraid.

Yes my posts draw thumbs down like a forum lightning rod. I really don’t mind and quite enjoy kick up the sand if I’m honest 😄

@divegeester
And if you are not?🙂

@divegeester said
Don’t know the guy I’m afraid.

Yes my posts draw thumbs down like a forum lightning rod. I really don’t mind and quite enjoy kick up the sand if I’m honest 😄

Milton Jones, worth checking out imo.

@sonhouse said
@divegeester
And if you are not?🙂

Not what?

I’ve started work as a waiter.
Granted, the money’s not fantastic; but at least I can put food on the table.

I just deleted all Germans from my smart phone: now it's Hans-free.

I was walking through the park last evening I tried to share a kebab with a homeless guy I saw sitting on a bench.

He told me to get lost and buy my own.

Swine was in short supply, so the sausage factory resorted to fowl, and thereby took a tern for the wurst.

@divegeester said
I was walking through the park last evening I tried to share a kebab with a homeless guy I saw sitting on a bench.

He told me to get lost and buy my own.

I walked past a dishevelled homeless busker singing Breakfast in America.
That's Supertramp I said.
Thank you he replied.

Count Dracula called at our house last night.
I asked him if he would like a small aperitif, but he said he was happy with the fangs he had.