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Puns and One-liners

Puns and One-liners

General

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I offered Bonnie Tyler a Quality Street but she said she was holding out for a hero.

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I saw a dwarf get pick pocketed this morning.
I confronted the thief and said 'how can you stoop so low.'

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Sent a couple of suggestions to a deodorant company today

Just putting my 2 scents in

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I wish I could define what it means to be a great philosopher, but I Kant.

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amazon, fedex, and ups walk into a bar
they all order an uber

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@rajk999 said
For you to make an 8 letter word, your scrabble buddy had to have done the same.
Maybe you should learn to play Scrabble.

If it was necessary to play an 8-letter word before playing an 8-letter word, who can play the first 8-letter word?

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-Removed-
I said to my doctor that I kept yearning for the green, green grass of home.
He told me I have Tom Jones syndrome. Apparently, it's not unusual.

(I believe that one's also (c) Milton Jones. I certainly first heard it on Wok the Meek.)

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What's the difference between dal and tarka dal?

Tarka is a little 'otter.

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