Puns and One-liners

i smoked lots of weed
overthrew the government
this is my high coup

Why don't cows have feet?
Because they lactose.

Why did the burglar rob the bakery? He needed the dough.

i got a buddy named jack
jack speaks with vegetables
jack and the beans talk

The epitome of irony: asleep at a wake

Trump's gene pool could use a little chlorine:
You know, just to put a little "fun" in dysfunctional.

The cashier took my twenty and licked it, then started to convulse and froth. It was a counter fit.

I was hoping to build on higher ground, but I had to lower my sites.

Some people think I'm too full of myself, but they never offer to share the load.

There was an explosion at a candy factory. It was Haribo.

i got the pfizer vaccine and pso pfar pno pside effects