Puns and One-liners

Did you know that Anne Boleyn had a brother called Tenpin?

i smoked lots of weed
overthrew the government
this is my high coup

Why don't cows have feet?
Because they lactose.

Why did the burglar rob the bakery? He needed the dough.

i got a buddy named jack
jack speaks with vegetables
jack and the beans talk

The epitome of irony: asleep at a wake

Mrs Mouse got to the front of the queue and asked for “half a pound of tuppenny rice, and half a pound of treacle”... Standing behind her Mr Weasel did not like the sound of that!

Trump's gene pool could use a little chlorine:
You know, just to put a little "fun" in dysfunctional.

A man has been stealing wheels off police cars.

Police are working tirelessly to catch him.

Anyone know how long it takes to fix a hearing aid?

I sent mine away 2 weeks ago and have heard nothing since.

The cashier took my twenty and licked it, then started to convulse and froth. It was a counter fit.

I was hoping to build on higher ground, but I had to lower my sites.

Some people think I'm too full of myself, but they never offer to share the load.

There was an explosion at a candy factory. It was Haribo.

i got the pfizer vaccine and pso pfar pno pside effects