I just can't get over it...

I exist. The more i think about it, the more ridiculous it is. What is my purpose other than procreation and what is the point in that anyway?

Recently i have been finding this terrifying. As i think about my existence and how improbable it is, i imagine what it is not to exist also. I find this is having the effect that my consciousness splutters and i feel that, for a moment, i cease to exist. This might sound crazy (perhaps there's no 'might' about it) but I'm starting to scare myself. Simply existing makes no sense, the more i think about it, the crazier the whole thing appears. Why?

Am i discovering God? Is this fear that i feel what drives people into religion? The thought of a supreme being, creator of everything is even more absurd to me, but I still can't let the idea go. Maybe it's because i went to a Catholic school and was brought up in this way, or maybe my brain needs to hold on to something to stop itself from self destructing. All i know is that I need to believe something, anything! Do other people feel the same way? Is this normal? It's driving me to distraction.

Originally posted by Marinkatomb
I exist. The more i think about it, the more ridiculous it is. What is my purpose other than procreation and what is the point in that anyway?

Recently i have been finding this terrifying. As i think about my existence and how improbable it is, i imagine what it is not to exist also. I find this is having the effect that my consciousness splutters an thing! Do other people feel the same way? Is this normal? It's driving me to distraction.

i imagine what it is not to exist also.

Why bother? It's hopeless to use conscious experience to try to simulate a permanent lack of conscious experience. Look at the absurdity that results from this sort of conscious revolt:

"Do you ever think of yourself as actually dead lying in a box with a lid on it? Nor do I really. It's silly to be depressed by it. I mean, one thinks of it like being alive in a box, and one keeps forgetting to take into account the fact that one is dead...which should make all the difference... shouldn't it? I mean, you'd never know you were in a box, would you? It would be just like you were asleep in a box. Not that I'd like to sleep in a box, mind you, not without any air, you'd wake up dead for a start, and then where would you be? In a box. That's the bit I don't like frankly. That's why I don't think of it. Because you'd be helpless. Stuffed in a box like that, I mean, you'd be in there for ever. Even taking into account the fact that you're dead, it isn't a pleasant thought. Especially if you're dead, really...ask yourself, if I asked you straight off...I'm going to stuff you in this box now, would you rather be alive or dead? Naturally, you'd prefer to be alive. Life in a box is better than no life at all, I expect. You'd have a chance at least. You could lie there thinking well, at least I'm not dead."

--Rosencrantz, from Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead

Originally posted by Marinkatomb
[b]I exist. The more i think about it, the more ridiculous it is. What is my purpose other than procreation and what is the point in that anyway?

Recently i have been finding this terrifying. As i think about my existence and how improbable it is, i imagine what it is not to exist also. I find this is having the effect that my consciousness splutters an ...[text shortened]... g! Do other people feel the same way? Is this normal? It's driving me to distraction.[/

b]

This is not crazy. I think everyone has these "what if" and "why" moments in their life. It's just a matter of when and how. As for your other questions...

"Am i discovering God?"
Some people call it that.

"Is this fear that i feel what drives people into religion?"
Sometimes.

"The thought of a supreme being, creator of everything is even more absurd to me, but I still can't let the idea go. Maybe it's because i went to a Catholic school and was brought up in this way, or maybe my brain needs to hold on to something to stop itself from self destructing."
Quite possibly. Also, in many cases the first reason leads to the second.

"All i know is that I need to believe something, anything!"
Most people do.

"Do other people feel the same way?"
Yes.

"Is this normal?"
Yes.

"It's driving me to distraction."
As long as you don't start hearing multiple voices in your head, you should be fine.

Also, out of curiosity, are you over 30?

On a side note, the older I get, the more I value this quote: "Never trust a man who doesn't drink." And I aint that old.

Originally posted by Marinkatomb
I exist. The more i think about it, the more ridiculous it is. What is my purpose other than procreation and what is the point in that anyway?

Recently i have been finding this terrifying. As i think about my existence and how improbable it is, i imagine what it is not to exist also. I find this is having the effect that my consciousness splutters an thing! Do other people feel the same way? Is this normal? It's driving me to distraction.

These are very normal questions to ask and everyone who has the mental capacity has attempted to tackle these questions at some point in their lives.

From the Chrsitian perspective our bodies die because we sin. Sin is what seperates us from our Creator. Therefore, finding our way back first involves dealing with the sin in our lives. This is why Christ went to the cross and is God's answer to the "sin" problem. The key is not to die in our sins and aviod what is called the second death. It occurs when our physical bodies die without our spirit being reborn beforehand. Our spiritual being is the only aspect of our existence that can escape death.

Deep down I know that I was put here for a purpose. Also, deep down I know that death is not a natural outcome. Death is only a natural outcome in that we cannot avoid it physically because we have all sinned. Death was never part of God's perfect will, however. Deep down do you feel the same? Should are very existence not demand a purpose and does death seem not to be a natural outcome?

Originally posted by whodey
These are very normal questions to ask and everyone who has the mental capacity has attempted to tackle these questions at some point in their lives.

From the Chrsitian perspective our bodies die because we sin. Sin is what seperates us from our Creator. Therefore, finding our way back first involves dealing with the sin in our lives. This is why Chri ...[text shortened]... uld are very existence not demand a purpose and does death seem not to be a natural outcome?

Deep down I feel Christianity is a crock. I also feel deep down that there is no fairy up in the sky who has decided that his purposes are to be adopted by me.

How much do you exist when you're asleep? Have you ever been unconcious?

Originally posted by AThousandYoung
Deep down I feel Christianity is a crock. I also feel deep down that there is no fairy up in the sky who has decided that his purposes are to be adopted by me.

How much do you exist when you're asleep? Have you ever been unconcious?

I assumed as much since you are not a Christian.

Originally posted by whodey
I assumed as much since you are not a Christian.

Interesting. "Deeply held feelings" only matter to whodey if you agree with him.

Originally posted by Marinkatomb
I exist. The more i think about it, the more ridiculous it is. What is my purpose other than procreation and what is the point in that anyway?

Recently i have been finding this terrifying. As i think about my existence and how improbable it is, i imagine what it is not to exist also. I find this is having the effect that my consciousness splutters an ...[text shortened]... thing! Do other people feel the same way? Is this normal? It's driving me to distraction.

Need there be a purpose?
Why can't you write the story of your own life so to speak - that is, why not create purpose for yourself.
The reality of the universe is (as I see it anyway) that it isn't full or purpose, it isn't cold or unfeeling, nor is it full of feeling, it just is. To someone looking for external purpose that might seem terrifying.
I'm not sure why it should be. It makes no difference to the reality of my life and loves and family and work and play and everything else.

Originally posted by Marinkatomb
I exist. The more i think about it, the more ridiculous it is. What is my purpose other than procreation and what is the point in that anyway?

Recently i have been finding this terrifying. As i think about my existence and how improbable it is, i imagine what it is not to exist also. I find this is having the effect that my consciousness splutters an thing! Do other people feel the same way? Is this normal? It's driving me to distraction.

Sounds to me like you are having what one calls an "existential crisis". You are asking a lot of questions and it could be a pivotal point in your life. The first thing to say is be careful. You can easily get yourself in a mess thinking about these things too much. Make sure you don't lose touch with the things you enjoy (like hobbies).It's better to be an honest Atheist than a dishonest Christian so the second thing to say is that this is not a good reason to start believing in God BUT it is a good reason to start looking. God does sometimes bring a person's life into crisis in order to wake them up and get them restless. Don't look skywards for the fairy tale creationist God , look for the living God of Christ who can meet you where you are. Find out how God can be known actively as a spiritual presence in your life but do it honestly and be true to yourself. You may or may not end up believing but I absolutely guarantee you that you will find something that will make you think if you really search honestly. ("Seek and you will find" )

So what you feel is normal but also out of the ordinary. If this feeling of life needing or having a purpose runs deep in you it could be that deep within you you are aware that God has a purpose for your life. I predict many other posters will poo-poo these ideas but you make your own mind up. If God is there he will help you find a way through the craziness. You need to trust yourself also . It's an opportunity to push back the horizon of your life. So tread carefully and walk honestly , and good luck!

Originally posted by AThousandYoung
Interesting. "Deeply held feelings" only matter to whodey if you agree with him.

I can only attest to my own feelings.

Originally posted by Marinkatomb
I exist. The more i think about it, the more ridiculous it is. What is my purpose other than procreation and what is the point in that anyway?

Recently i have been finding this terrifying. As i think about my existence and how improbable it is, i imagine what it is not to exist also. I find this is having the effect that my consciousness splutters an ...[text shortened]... thing! Do other people feel the same way? Is this normal? It's driving me to distraction.

Why does it bother you? Why must there be a point? Since existence itself is only evidence that you exist, you have two options:

1) Either accept a common sense view of the day to day universe and get on with things.
2) Go mad, find religion, or spend the rest of your life pursuing something you'll never find an answer to.

Marinkatomb, just relax. You'll probably feel better in a few days. If not, just relax a bit more. Eventually you will find more productive things to think about, such as how to enjoy your existence.....although I must admit that this is an equally difficult nut to crack (for me at least).

Originally posted by whodey
These are very normal questions to ask and everyone who has the mental capacity has attempted to tackle these questions at some point in their lives.

From the Chrsitian perspective our bodies die because we sin. Sin is what seperates us from our Creator. Therefore, finding our way back first involves dealing with the sin in our lives. This is why Chri ...[text shortened]... uld are very existence not demand a purpose and does death seem not to be a natural outcome?

Do you still belive that we die because we sin?

I'm really very confused...

Originally posted by amannion
Need there be a purpose?
Why can't you write the story of your own life so to speak - that is, why not create purpose for yourself.
The reality of the universe is (as I see it anyway) that it isn't full or purpose, it isn't cold or unfeeling, nor is it full of feeling, it just is. To someone looking for external purpose that might seem terrifying.
I'm no ...[text shortened]... erence to the reality of my life and loves and family and work and play and everything else.

Yes, there should be a purpose. Other wise why do you live. Even if it is not a divin purpose, but there should be a purpose.

I think any one commite suicide , he do that when he don't find the purpose of his life.

I belive our life has a purpose, and that purpose is never ending, which give our life a continues meaning. But the proplems for many people that this purpose requires many obligations that they don't want to accept , because of the pride ,may be.

Originally posted by ahosyney
Yes, there should be a purpose. Other wise why do you live. Even if it is not a divin purpose, but there should be a purpose.

I think any one commite suicide , he do that when he don't find the purpose of his life.

I belive our life has a purpose, and that purpose is never ending, which give our life a continues meaning. But the proplems for many peop ...[text shortened]... rpose requires many obligations that they don't want to accept , because of the pride ,may be.

Why does there have to be a purpose? Having a purpose does not necessarily imply the continuance of existence. Likewise, just existing is not sufficient to suggest there is a reason for existence.