Originally posted by mikelomMaybe I'm hearing it wrong on my head then, cause I think that the first sentence is more stressed that way.
The 'but' you started with took away all the stress! If you re-write the sentence without the 'but', and restructure it, then it is much more stressful!
To break the sentence unnecessarily with a full stop and then start another with 'and' is even less stressful! To break unnecessarily, as you did, eases the reader into less of a challenge to follow what is actually being stated.
Try again!
But the and on the second sentence was just to break another rule and mess with you.
😛
Originally posted by mikelomThere was a young lad named vector
There was a young lad called Vector
Who didn't know circle from sector
He put in 2 cents
And didn't have sense,
To realise at today's exchange rate it was worth 1 pence! 😏
whose lady he'd always bisector,
except when down on his luck,
he'd lose a good f***
'cause money would ALWAYS affector
I like mine better!
Originally posted by rhbshouldn't you stick to 'I like it' or 'I don't like it'?
Natsia - I think the girls arm is too long for her body - if it were extended fully it'd be almost down to her knees (Were they in the picture, and assuming her body remains all in proportion, and that she is stood upright).
I like the picture a lot. I think the colors are very striking. Technically and visually, it's great!
My only criticism (and it's a mild one, because I like your stuff) would be that it looks a lot like many of your other drawings that I've seen on deviantART. I think it's a cool concept, with the three-dimensional subject on one side of the picture with a sort of a trail of flat design filling the rest of the space, but it doesn't seem like much of a creative stretch for you either.
Originally posted by rbmorrisThanks Rob.
I like the picture a lot. I think the colors are very striking. Technically and visually, it's great!
My only criticism (and it's a mild one, because I like your stuff) would be that it looks a lot like many of your other drawings that I've seen on deviantART. I think it's a cool concept, with the three-dimensional subject on one side of the picture w ...[text shortened]... the rest of the space, but it doesn't seem like much of a creative stretch for you either.
You're quite correct there. I started on this image about five months ago and haven't had a chance to finish it off until recently.
The entire concept changed, and in the end the shape fills ended up being a little rushed.
There's a hell of a lot more I can and should do to this piece, the two horizontals & text need to come out for a start.
Im thinking about re-working some of the detail on the figure, perhaps use it in a more "complete" composition.