1. SubscriberVery Rusty
    Treat Everyone Equal
    Halifax, Nova Scotia
    Joined
    04 Oct '06
    Moves
    489915
    06 Oct '20 15:49
    @coquette said
    There should be a penal colony for those who pun. The punishment would be severe and unforgiving. Only men would be sent there, of course.
    Reminds me of that song by Hall & Oates.

    Maneater
    Hall & Oates, Daryl Hall
    She'll only come out at nights
    The lean and hungry type
    Nothing is new, I've seen her here before
    Watching and waiting
    Ooh, she's sitting with you but her eyes are on the door
    So many have paid to see
    What you think you're getting for free
    The woman is wild, a she-cat tamed by the purr of a Jaguar
    Money's the matter
    If you're in it for love
    You ain't gonna get too far
    Watch out boy she'll chew you up
    (Oh, here she comes)
    She's a maneater
    (Oh, here she comes)
    Watch out boy she'll chew you up
    (Oh, here she comes)
    She's a maneater
    I wouldn't if I were you
    I know what she can do
    She's deadly man, she could really rip your world apart
    Mind over matter
    Ooh, the beauty is there but a beast is in the heart
    Watch out boy she'll chew you up
    (Oh, here she comes)
    She's a…

    -VR
  2. Joined
    14 Mar '04
    Moves
    121064
    06 Oct '20 17:10
    A man goes to the zoo. There’s only ONE exhibit in the entire zoo.
    It was a Shih Tzu.
  3. SubscriberPonderable
    chemist
    Linkenheim
    Joined
    22 Apr '05
    Moves
    577330
    11 Oct '20 16:28
    If a zoo had a half man half horse...
    Do you think it would be the centaur of attention?
  4. Subscriberrookie54
    free tazer tickles..
    wildly content...
    Joined
    09 Mar '08
    Moves
    168549
    11 Oct '20 18:05
    sheep: we HATE you
    sheepdog: i know i know i know i herd you!
  5. Joined
    28 Jul '07
    Moves
    118805
    11 Oct '20 18:42
    What does a nudist take on a camping trip?

    The bare necessities.
  6. Joined
    28 Jul '07
    Moves
    118805
    12 Oct '20 09:36
    Why did the atheist order haddock?

    He doesn't believe in cod.
  7. Subscriberrookie54
    free tazer tickles..
    wildly content...
    Joined
    09 Mar '08
    Moves
    168549
    14 Oct '20 23:22
    i tried to become a pianist but i was grasping at strauss
  8. SubscriberGhost of a Duke
    Hero of the Masses
    London
    Joined
    14 Mar '15
    Moves
    22415
    16 Oct '20 17:53
    "I stand corrected!" Said the man in the orthopedic shoes.
  9. SubscriberEarl of Trumps
    Pawn Whisperer
    My Kingdom fora Pawn
    Joined
    09 Jan '19
    Moves
    7946
    16 Oct '20 18:20
    "Now, take my wife... PLEASE!! take my wife!" (Henny Youngman)
  10. SubscriberVery Rusty
    Treat Everyone Equal
    Halifax, Nova Scotia
    Joined
    04 Oct '06
    Moves
    489915
    16 Oct '20 18:37
    @neilarini said
    Why did the atheist order haddock?

    He doesn't believe in cod.
    Nice one, thumbs up on that! 😉

    -VR
  11. Standard membervivify
    rain
    Joined
    08 Mar '11
    Moves
    10472
    16 Oct '20 18:52
    @earl-of-trumps said
    "Now, take my wife... PLEASE!! take my wife!" (Henny Youngman)
    From "In Living Color", a bit about a convicted death row inmate doing standup comedy:

    "Take my life, please." *rimshot*
    "I just stabbed a prison guard in the back 37 times...and boy are my arms tired." *rimshot*
  12. SubscriberPonderable
    chemist
    Linkenheim
    Joined
    22 Apr '05
    Moves
    577330
    21 Oct '20 10:23
    The delinquent on his way to the gallows: "And it rains, too"

    The executioner: "Why do you complain, I also have to walk back."
  13. SubscriberGhost of a Duke
    Hero of the Masses
    London
    Joined
    14 Mar '15
    Moves
    22415
    23 Oct '20 08:05
    Two fish in a tank. One says: ‘How do you drive this thing?
  14. Subscriberrookie54
    free tazer tickles..
    wildly content...
    Joined
    09 Mar '08
    Moves
    168549
    25 Oct '20 14:12
    a photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage
    he says, "no, i'm traveling light"
  15. Subscriberrookie54
    free tazer tickles..
    wildly content...
    Joined
    09 Mar '08
    Moves
    168549
    25 Oct '20 14:13
    so the silver surfer and the iron man team up
    they are now alloys
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