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@coquette said
There should be a penal colony for those who pun. The punishment would be severe and unforgiving. Only men would be sent there, of course.
Reminds me of that song by Hall & Oates.

Maneater
Hall & Oates, Daryl Hall
She'll only come out at nights
The lean and hungry type
Nothing is new, I've seen her here before
Watching and waiting
Ooh, she's sitting with you but her eyes are on the door
So many have paid to see
What you think you're getting for free
The woman is wild, a she-cat tamed by the purr of a Jaguar
Money's the matter
If you're in it for love
You ain't gonna get too far
Watch out boy she'll chew you up
(Oh, here she comes)
She's a maneater
(Oh, here she comes)
Watch out boy she'll chew you up
(Oh, here she comes)
She's a maneater
I wouldn't if I were you
I know what she can do
She's deadly man, she could really rip your world apart
Mind over matter
Ooh, the beauty is there but a beast is in the heart
Watch out boy she'll chew you up
(Oh, here she comes)
She's a…

-VR


A man goes to the zoo. There’s only ONE exhibit in the entire zoo.
It was a Shih Tzu.


If a zoo had a half man half horse...
Do you think it would be the centaur of attention?


sheep: we HATE you
sheepdog: i know i know i know i herd you!


What does a nudist take on a camping trip?

The bare necessities.


Why did the atheist order haddock?

He doesn't believe in cod.


i tried to become a pianist but i was grasping at strauss


"I stand corrected!" Said the man in the orthopedic shoes.


"Now, take my wife... PLEASE!! take my wife!" (Henny Youngman)


@neilarini said
Why did the atheist order haddock?

He doesn't believe in cod.
Nice one, thumbs up on that! 😉

-VR


@earl-of-trumps said
"Now, take my wife... PLEASE!! take my wife!" (Henny Youngman)
From "In Living Color", a bit about a convicted death row inmate doing standup comedy:

"Take my life, please." *rimshot*
"I just stabbed a prison guard in the back 37 times...and boy are my arms tired." *rimshot*


The delinquent on his way to the gallows: "And it rains, too"

The executioner: "Why do you complain, I also have to walk back."


Two fish in a tank. One says: ‘How do you drive this thing?


a photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage
he says, "no, i'm traveling light"


so the silver surfer and the iron man team up
they are now alloys

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