1. Subscriberrookie54
    free tazer tickles..
    wildly content...
    Joined
    09 Mar '08
    Moves
    200687
    22 Sep '20 20:46
    if you have a fear of speed bumps
    just go slow
    you'll get over it
  2. SubscriberPonderable
    chemist
    Linkenheim
    Joined
    22 Apr '05
    Moves
    653674
    25 Sep '20 06:12
    Remember when you feel as if time slowed down?
    It's caused by the gravity of the situation.
  3. Joined
    06 Nov '15
    Moves
    41301
    26 Sep '20 09:09
    On the Belarusian frontier, a border guard is filling out Putin’s entry form. “Occupation?” asked the officer.
    - “Not today,” Putin replied. “Just tourism.”

    Putin opens the refrigerator and sees a plate of quivering gelatin.
    “Stop shaking!” Putin says.
    - “I am only getting the milk.”

    What is Vladimir Putin's favorite song?
    - Crimea River

    I hear that Vladimir Putin's approval rating is at 80%.
    - Yeah, the other 20% are missing.
  4. Standard memberwolfgang59
    Quiz Master
    RHP Arms
    Joined
    09 Jun '07
    Moves
    48793
    26 Sep '20 09:23
    @rookie54 said
    if you have a fear of speed bumps
    just go slow
    you'll get over it
    A fear of phobias is phobophobia.

    I wonder what a fear of getting phobophobia is called? 😵
  5. Standard memberwolfgang59
    Quiz Master
    RHP Arms
    Joined
    09 Jun '07
    Moves
    48793
    26 Sep '20 09:25
    What do flat-earthes fear?

    Sphere itself.
  6. Subscriberrookie54
    free tazer tickles..
    wildly content...
    Joined
    09 Mar '08
    Moves
    200687
    27 Sep '20 17:36
    did you buy the new apple watch?

    *-HACKTIME-*
    if you want yer apple watch to enable the force field generator and/or the flame thrower

    all you have to do is put yer watch in the microwave on high for thirty seconds

    take it off yer wrist first
  7. Subscriberrookie54
    free tazer tickles..
    wildly content...
    Joined
    09 Mar '08
    Moves
    200687
    29 Sep '20 18:17
    time is money
    if only i had learned this wages ago
  8. SubscriberEarl of Trumps
    Pawn Whisperer
    My Kingdom fora Pawn
    Joined
    09 Jan '19
    Moves
    18240
    30 Sep '20 18:09
    So, Donald Trump and Joe Biden had a debate...
  9. Subscriberrookie54
    free tazer tickles..
    wildly content...
    Joined
    09 Mar '08
    Moves
    200687
    03 Oct '20 13:52
    science tells us that dairy cows produce more milk when the farmer talks to them

    it's a simple case of in one ear and out the udder
  10. Subscriberrookie54
    free tazer tickles..
    wildly content...
    Joined
    09 Mar '08
    Moves
    200687
    04 Oct '20 18:15
    please note, the new presidential ventilator is codenamed forced air one
  11. Subscribercoquette
    Already mated
    Omaha, Nebraska, USA
    Joined
    04 Jul '06
    Moves
    1113850
    06 Oct '20 07:40
    What is the linguistic name for a joke that is absent of humor?

    Are you joking?
  12. Subscribercoquette
    Already mated
    Omaha, Nebraska, USA
    Joined
    04 Jul '06
    Moves
    1113850
    06 Oct '20 07:43
    I don't know of any definitive evidence for the existence of God, the almighty omniscient infinite deity, other than the existence of the Universe and space and time itself . . . well, that was before 2020.
  13. Joined
    14 Mar '04
    Moves
    173583
    06 Oct '20 13:05
    Why did the bicycle collapse?
    It was two tired.
  14. Subscribercoquette
    Already mated
    Omaha, Nebraska, USA
    Joined
    04 Jul '06
    Moves
    1113850
    06 Oct '20 15:30
    I took a tricyclic antidepressant. Whew, what a ride!
  15. Subscribercoquette
    Already mated
    Omaha, Nebraska, USA
    Joined
    04 Jul '06
    Moves
    1113850
    06 Oct '20 15:31
    There should be a penal colony for those who pun. The punishment would be severe and unforgiving. Only men would be sent there, of course.
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