Jokes

What do you call a roof with only 3/4 of it remaining?

An oof.🤔😲

My therapist told me to write letters to the people I hate and then burn them.

Did that. But now, what am I supposed to do with the letters ?

🤔

Corky O'Dell [in confessional]: 'Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl.'

Father O'Malley: 'Is that you, Corky?'

Corky: 'Yes, Father, it is.'

Father O'Malley: 'And who was the girl you were with?'

Corky: 'I can't tell you, Father, I don't want to ruin her reputation.'

Father O'Malley: 'Well, Corky, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Martinelli'

Corky: 'I cannot say.'

Father O'Malley: 'Was it Teresia Mozzarelli?'

Corky: 'I'll never tell. Her father would disown her if he found out.'

Father O'Malley: 'Was it Nina Capelli?'

Corky: 'I'm sorry, but I dare not name her.'

Father O'Malley: 'Was it Constance Pirroetto?'

Corky: 'My lips are sealed, Father.'

Father O'Malley: 'Well then, was it Rosalito DiAngelo?'

Corky: 'Please, Father, I cannot tell you.'

Father O'Malley [sighs with great restraint]: 'You won't betray a confidence. That is admirable. But you have sinned and you must do penance. You are suspended from the choir for 4 months. Now go, behave yourself and stay away from loose girls.'

Corky walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and whispers, 'What'd you get?'

Corky: 'Four month's vacation and five hot tips.'

@moonbus said
Corky O'Dell [in confessional]: 'Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl.'

Father O'Malley: 'Is that you, Corky?'

Corky: 'Yes, Father, it is.'

Father O'Malley: 'And who was the girl you were with?'

Corky: 'I can't tell you, Father, I don't want to ruin her reputation.'

Father O'Malley: 'Well, Corky, I'm sure to find out her name s ...[text shortened]... co slides over and whispers, 'What'd you get?'

Corky: 'Four month's vacation and five hot tips.'

My friend has had a penis extension. His house looks really stupid now.

@Great-Big-Stees said
When did Corky move to Italy?😲

@moonbus said
Stees, part of the joke is that the Irish Catholic Father can't get his mind round the idea that an Irish Catholic girl might be one of the loose ones.

@Great-Big-Stees said
The he, the father, didn’t know Aoife O’Brien.😲

@moonbus said
Or maybe he did but was keeping it/her to himself!

The importance of punctuation

CROCODILES
DO NOT SWIM HERE

@Torunn said
The importance of punctuation

CROCODILES
DO NOT SWIM HERE

The British 'Hide and Seek' champion has been found dead in a wardrobe. Sad.