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@the-gravedigger said
I'll have the chicken karma
I got a load of bull.


a number 2 pencil is NOT a suppository?


When my wife is asleep I put chess pieces on her forehead.
When she wakes up you should see the Rook on her face.

I once worked in a factory that made chess pieces.
I always worked late...I was on the Knight shift.

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@greenpawn34 said
When my wife is asleep I put chess pieces on her forehead.
When she wakes up you should see the Rook on her face.

I once worked in a factory that made chess pieces.
I always worked late...I was on the Knight shift.
Hi GP.
You know I was positive we had played before.
I played the Kings Gambit and you played the Falkbeer counter gambit.
I made an over ambitious bishop sacrifice and you ground me down in an end game.
Except none of that ever happened because when I checked your profile we have never played before.
How very peculiar.


@The-Gravedigger

Not me - I do not grind away in endgames. If it is an easy win then I play on,
Anything else then I'll offer a draw. I do not do endgames, if I am in a level
ending then I have misplayed the middle game and do not deserve to win.

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@greenpawn34 said
@The-Gravedigger

Not me - I do not grind away in endgames. If it is an easy win then I play on,
Anything else then I'll offer a draw. I do not do endgames, if I am in a level
ending then I have misplayed the middle game and do not deserve to win.
Must admit I hate end games OTB and always offer a draw unless I have an overwhelming advantage.

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The CEO of Ikea was elected president of Sweden.

It's taken him over a week to assemble his cabinet.


@ghost-of-a-duke said
The CEO of Ikea was elected president of Sweden.

It's taken him over a week to assemble his cabinet.
LOL
When his deputy arrived he said 'welcome, come in and make a seat.'


I was once kidnapped by mime artists.

They did unspeakable things...

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@greenpawn34 said
@The-Gravedigger

Not me - I do not grind away in endgames. If it is an easy win then I play on,
Anything else then I'll offer a draw. I do not do endgames, if I am in a level
ending then I have misplayed the middle game and do not deserve to win.
There are basketball teams who can play three quarters well, and stay ahead of their opponents the whole game, and yet have difficulty with "bringing the win home", and they can't seem to close out the win in the final moments. In chess, victory in the endgame is "bringing the win home", and if one doesn't have the endurance to win in the all-important engame, are they really an effective chessplayer? This is why most systems teach the endgame first, because if you cannot win the endgame, you cannot win at all except through questionable methods, such as traps and swindles.

Yeah, I know, not very funny. Sorry to put this here in the Jokes thread, but I felt a need to respond.


@Suzianne

The trick is to append some joke.

Obligatory joke: Two artists had an art contest. – It ended in a draw.


@greenpawn34 said
@The-Gravedigger

Not me - I do not grind away in endgames. If it is an easy win then I play on,
Anything else then I'll offer a draw. I do not do endgames, if I am in a level
ending then I have misplayed the middle game and do not deserve to win.
Presented as a joke but I agree with this idea. Endgames can be especially tedious to play out in correspondence-style chess.


@suzianne said
There are basketball teams who can play three quarters well, and stay ahead of their opponents the whole game, and yet have difficulty with "bringing the win home", and they can't seem to close out the win in the final moments. In chess, victory in the endgame is "bringing the win home", and if one doesn't have the endurance to win in the all-important engame, are they real ...[text shortened]... , I know, not very funny. Sorry to put this here in the Jokes thread, but I felt a need to respond.
I did appreciate and agree with your post. Maybe you could have tried to pass it off as some "dry as the desert" humor? 😉


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@ghost-of-a-duke removed their quoted post
If your wife can't tell thyme from cumin just by looking at it or smelling it, then maybe you both need to outsource the cooking.

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