Jokes

Mobius strip
In mathematics, a Möbius strip, Möbius band, or Möbius loop is a surface that can be formed by attaching the ends of a strip of paper together with a half-twist. Wikipedia

i wrote a dozen chapstick jokes and deleted them all

i'm too dang slutty for this chatroom

in the springtime
you cain't plant flowers
if you haven't botany

My boss asked me why I only get sick on workdays.

"I dunno. It must be my weekend immune system".

Next Monday we start Diarrhoea Awareness Week. Runs until Friday.

The Kremlin often claimed that Russia had the second strongest military in the world. And many believed it. Today, many see the Russian military as the second strongest in Ukraine.

~ Anthony Blinken

@fmf said
The Kremlin often claimed that Russia had the second strongest military in the world. And many believed it. Today, many see the Russian military as the second strongest in Ukraine.

~ Anthony Blinken

True. The strongest army in Ukraine is NATO.

My doctor told me he would have to operate and there was only a 50% chance of survival. I told him to do the operation twice.

My doctor told me I needed to relax more. He said drink 2 pints of beer after a hot bath. But I couldn't even drink the hot bath.

My doctor told me I had one year to live. So I shot him and the judge gave me 15 years.

Dave Brubeck:: Hey Joe, i got a new tune, here's the charts.
Joe Morello: What's up with the time signature? 4/4.. What's that even sound like?

I’ve trained my dog to go and fetch me a bottle of wine.

He’s a Bordeaux collie.

Why is water heavier than butane?

Because butane is a lighter fluid.

I changed my iPad’s name to Titanic. It’s syncing now.

There’s a new restaurant in our town. It’s called Karma. There’s no menu. You get what you deserve.😲