1. SubscriberGhost of a Duke
    We are Borg
    The Ghost Chamber
    Joined
    14 Mar '15
    Moves
    28069
    15 Jul '23 15:23
    When I was a boy, I had a disease that required me to eat dirt three times a day in order to survive.

    It's a good thing my older brother told me about it.
  2. Subscriberdivegeester
    One of the TWINS
    Siam
    Joined
    16 Feb '08
    Moves
    115869
    16 Jul '23 11:07
    I had no idea that you had a phobia of elevators?

    Yeah, I’ve been taking steps to avoid them.
  3. SubscriberGhost of a Duke
    We are Borg
    The Ghost Chamber
    Joined
    14 Mar '15
    Moves
    28069
    17 Jul '23 18:01
    So, it turns out I'm completely colour blind. The diagnosis came right out of the purple.
  4. SubscriberPonderable
    chemist
    Linkenheim
    Joined
    22 Apr '05
    Moves
    650619
    20 Jul '23 07:03
    How can you tell which rabbits are getting old?

    Look for the grey hares
  5. SubscriberFMF
    Ex-Real POTY 2023
    Resistance Leader
    Joined
    28 Oct '05
    Moves
    34584
    25 Jul '23 12:34

    This post is unavailable.

    Please refer to our posting guidelines.

  6. SubscriberEarl of Trumps
    Pawn Whisperer
    My Kingdom fora Pawn
    Joined
    09 Jan '19
    Moves
    17880
    25 Jul '23 22:40
    hehehe, that was actually pretty funny
  7. Subscribermoonbus
    รœber-Nerd
    Joined
    31 May '12
    Moves
    8081
    26 Jul '23 07:38
    @ghost-of-a-duke said
    When I was a boy, I had a disease that required me to eat dirt three times a day in order to survive.

    It's a good thing my older brother told me about it.
    TU from me Ghost,

    I relayed your joke to my younger sister and a good friend. I received the following replies:

    <<All us younger brothers have been there. Although, in my case, it took a different form. A circus came to a neighbouring town. That town and mine were separated by an extensive wooded area. Anthony [name not changed to implicate the guilty] and his best friend were annoyed by me (the fat little brother) tagging along when they went into the woods to go tree climbing. I couldn't climb the tree they were up so they decided to have some fun and started discussing the news that a man-eating tiger had escaped from the nearby circus and might be in the wood where we were. I (probably aged 7) listened with increasing alarm and eventually hysterical panic. I burst into tears and fled for home tripping, being scratched by brambles and arrived home in a state of gibbering terror from which I had only partially recovered by the time I went to university.>>

    <<I have a friend in Homer [Alaska] whose older brother told her that rubbing cow patties on her face would get rid of the freckles. It didn’t work. Her grandpa had to tell her. That it was a mean joke.>>


    ๐Ÿ˜†
  8. Subscriberrookie54
    free tazer tickles..
    wildly content...
    Joined
    09 Mar '08
    Moves
    199969
    30 Jul '23 18:45
    i went to the library and asked for a book on pavlov's dog and schrodinger's cat
    the librarian said it rung a bell but wasn't sure if it was there or not
  9. SubscriberPonderable
    chemist
    Linkenheim
    Joined
    22 Apr '05
    Moves
    650619
    01 Aug '23 10:49
    The doctor has given me two months to live...


    I've chosen August and December, because I like summer but don't want to miss Christmas.
  10. SubscriberEarl of Trumps
    Pawn Whisperer
    My Kingdom fora Pawn
    Joined
    09 Jan '19
    Moves
    17880
    01 Aug '23 20:08
    It seems strange to be the same age as people that are old ๐Ÿค”
  11. SubscriberPianoman1
    Nil desperandum
    Seedy piano bar
    Joined
    09 May '08
    Moves
    276136
    06 Aug '23 05:54
    A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
  12. Gothenburg
    Joined
    11 Mar '16
    Moves
    26477
    06 Aug '23 07:54
    One benefit of old age is that your secrets are always safe with your friends … because they can’t remember them.
  13. SubscriberThe Gravedigger
    Jack Torrance
    Overlook Hotel
    Joined
    04 Feb '11
    Moves
    45800
    09 Aug '23 18:19
    Doctor: We got your test results back.
    Me: Did I pass?
    Doctor: You will soon.
  14. SubscriberEarl of Trumps
    Pawn Whisperer
    My Kingdom fora Pawn
    Joined
    09 Jan '19
    Moves
    17880
    09 Aug '23 21:15
    Old man goes to doctor with his son.

    Nurse: Ok, we will need a blood sample, a urine sample, a stool sample, and a sperm sample.
    Old Man: What she say,,,?
    Son: Just leave a pair of your underwear, dad.
  15. Gothenburg
    Joined
    11 Mar '16
    Moves
    26477
    12 Aug '23 07:55
    Whats the difference between love and marriage?

    Love is blind and marriage is an eye-opener!
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