1. SubscriberPonderable
    chemist
    Linkenheim
    Joined
    22 Apr '05
    Moves
    651270
    28 Aug '23 09:17
    A man approaches a beautiful woman in a large supermarket and asks:
    “You know, I’ve lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?”
    “Why?”
    “Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman, my wife appears out of nowhere.”
  2. Joined
    16 Aug '15
    Moves
    1245
    30 Aug '23 21:15
    I attended a magic show in Mexico City.
    The Magician said "Uno, dos" then vanished without a tres.
  3. Joined
    28 Oct '05
    Moves
    34587
    02 Sep '23 10:14
    I got mugged by six dwarves last night. Not happy.
  4. Joined
    28 Oct '05
    Moves
    34587
    02 Sep '23 11:26
    I went to the petshop to buy twelve bees. The shopkeeper counted out thirteen bees. I said, sir, you've given me one extra. Yes, he said, its a freebie.
  5. SubscriberPonderable
    chemist
    Linkenheim
    Joined
    22 Apr '05
    Moves
    651270
    06 Sep '23 07:59
    what was the bee's favourite novel?

    The great Gats-bee
  6. Joined
    18 Jan '07
    Moves
    12221
    16 Sep '23 09:20
    Q: What does a Scots drag queen wear?

    A: Trowse.
  7. Joined
    18 Jan '07
    Moves
    12221
    16 Sep '23 09:21
    @fmf said
    I went to the petshop to buy twelve bees. The shopkeeper counted out thirteen bees. I said, sir, you've given me one extra. Yes, he said, its a freebie.
    A honey-maker's dozen?
  8. Joined
    16 Feb '08
    Moves
    116024
    16 Sep '23 09:451 edit
    I went for a run this morning, but I had to go back because I’d forgotten a couple of things….
    I’m fat and I can’t run.
  9. SubscriberPonderable
    chemist
    Linkenheim
    Joined
    22 Apr '05
    Moves
    651270
    18 Sep '23 07:55
    A boy helps an elderly nun to cross the street.

    When she thanks him he says: "Batman's fgreinds are my friends!"
  10. SubscriberGhost of a Duke
    Peacemaker
    The Ghost Chamber
    Joined
    14 Mar '15
    Moves
    28279
    24 Sep '23 19:07
    I accidentally took my cats meds this morning...

    Don't ask meow.
  11. SubscriberPonderable
    chemist
    Linkenheim
    Joined
    22 Apr '05
    Moves
    651270
    28 Sep '23 09:09
    What does a choir of cats like to sing?

    Do - Re - Mew.
  12. SubscriberGhost of a Duke
    Peacemaker
    The Ghost Chamber
    Joined
    14 Mar '15
    Moves
    28279
    28 Sep '23 15:20
    My wife dated a clown before she started going out with me.

    I had some pretty big shoes to fill.
  13. Joined
    16 Aug '15
    Moves
    1245
    28 Sep '23 23:221 edit
    In England it's called a lift. In the US it's called an elevator.
    I guess we're raised differently.
  14. Joined
    16 Aug '15
    Moves
    1245
    28 Sep '23 23:24
    Me: Vowels scare me, I'm terrified by them.
    Thereapist: Why?
    Me: Sometimes
  15. SubscriberThe Gravedigger
    Jack Torrance
    Overlook Hotel
    Joined
    04 Feb '11
    Moves
    45995
    29 Sep '23 06:39
    @gambrel said
    I attended a magic show in Mexico City.
    The Magician said "Uno, dos" then vanished without a tres.
    Two cats had a swimming race. An English cat called One Two Three and a French cat called Un Deux Trois. The English cat won.
    Un Deux Trois cat sank.
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