1. SubscriberPonderable
    chemist
    Linkenheim
    Joined
    22 Apr '05
    Moves
    650619
    13 Nov '23 10:34
    What's an astrnouts most favourite part of a computer?

    The space bar
  2. Standard memberpawnpaw
    Please Pay Attention
    Lethabong
    Joined
    02 Apr '10
    Moves
    95476
    17 Nov '23 06:50
    A blonde is sitting alone in a bar.
    Two fellas come in, and sit either side of her.
    One orders: Jack Daniels, single.
    The other one orders: Johnny Walker, single.
    The blonde goes: Debbie Walters, divorced!
  3. SubscriberThe Gravedigger
    Jack Torrance
    Overlook Hotel
    Joined
    04 Feb '11
    Moves
    45800
    17 Nov '23 08:45
    A blonde goes to pick up her little black dress from the dry cleaners.
    As she is leaving the woman behind the counter says 'come again dear.'
    The blonde turns round and says 'actually it was toothpaste this time you nosey old bitch.'
  4. Gothenburg
    Joined
    11 Mar '16
    Moves
    26478
    17 Nov '23 08:55
    Two engineers were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking at its top. A blonde walked by and asked what they were doing.
    Blonde
    “We’re supposed to find the height of this flagpole,” said Sven, “but we don’t have a ladder.”
    The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a couple of bolts, and laid the pole down on the ground. Then she took a tape measure from her handbag, took a measurement, and announced, “Twenty one feet, six inches,” and walked away.
    One engineer shook his head and laughed, “Typical blonde! We ask for the height and she gives us the length!”
  5. Standard memberSuzianne
    Misfit Queen
    Isle of Misfit Toys
    Joined
    08 Aug '03
    Moves
    36571
    17 Nov '23 20:29
    @torunn said
    Two engineers were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking at its top. A blonde walked by and asked what they were doing.
    Blonde
    “We’re supposed to find the height of this flagpole,” said Sven, “but we don’t have a ladder.”
    The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a couple of bolts, and laid the pole down on the ground. Then she took a tape measure from her hand ...[text shortened]... eer shook his head and laughed, “Typical blonde! We ask for the height and she gives us the length!”
    Nice. Very nice. 😍
  6. SubscriberPonderable
    chemist
    Linkenheim
    Joined
    22 Apr '05
    Moves
    650619
    21 Nov '23 16:57
    @suzianne said
    Nice. Very nice. 😍
    I saw a woman walking towards the door, so, to be nice, I opened it for her.
    Instead of thanking me, she, and everyone else on the plane, started screaming.
  7. Standard memberDavid Burton
    My Objective,AVOID
    THE GRUESOME TWOSOME
    Joined
    04 May '23
    Moves
    3150
    23 Nov '23 09:50
    If alcohol can damage your short term memory just imagine what alcohol could do.
  8. SubscriberGhost of a Duke
    We are Borg
    The Ghost Chamber
    Joined
    14 Mar '15
    Moves
    28071
    23 Nov '23 13:23
    Why did the sad ghost use an elevator?

    To lift his spirits.
  9. Standard memberDavid Burton
    My Objective,AVOID
    THE GRUESOME TWOSOME
    Joined
    04 May '23
    Moves
    3150
    23 Nov '23 14:46
    They say that if you lose one sense your other senses are enhanced.
    This is why people with no sense of humour have a heightened sense of self -importance.
  10. SubscriberGhost of a Duke
    We are Borg
    The Ghost Chamber
    Joined
    14 Mar '15
    Moves
    28071
    24 Nov '23 15:49
    Walking home last night, I passed a slice of apple pie, an ice cream sundae, and a lemon cheesecake.

    I thought to myself, "The streets seem strangely desserted..."
  11. Standard memberDavid Burton
    My Objective,AVOID
    THE GRUESOME TWOSOME
    Joined
    04 May '23
    Moves
    3150
    24 Nov '23 16:21
    @Ghost-of-a-Duke
    Funny Mr ghost,I am a bit ghostly myself.
  12. SubscriberGhost of a Duke
    We are Borg
    The Ghost Chamber
    Joined
    14 Mar '15
    Moves
    28071
    24 Nov '23 16:23
    @david-burton said
    @Ghost-of-a-Duke
    Funny Mr ghost,I am a bit ghostly myself.
    Nothing wrong sir with being spirited.
  13. Standard memberDavid Burton
    My Objective,AVOID
    THE GRUESOME TWOSOME
    Joined
    04 May '23
    Moves
    3150
    24 Nov '23 16:25
    @ghost-of-a-duke said
    Nothing wrong sir with being spirited.
    Shall we drink to that?.
  14. SubscriberGhost of a Duke
    We are Borg
    The Ghost Chamber
    Joined
    14 Mar '15
    Moves
    28071
    24 Nov '23 16:33
    @david-burton said
    Shall we drink to that?.
    As it happens, I always carry a flagon of whisky in case of snakebite, and furthermore, I always carry a small snake. (A nod to W.C. Fields)
  15. Joined
    23 Feb '22
    Moves
    1798
    24 Nov '23 17:32
    @phil3000 said
    What do you call a Spaniard that has had his car stolen ?...Carlos
    Spanish archer .....El bow
    ? I don't get it
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