Jokes

Originally posted by @wolfe63
Nice!

I'm keeping that one for future use, to be sure. 🙂

German border guard: "Nationality?"
Traveller: "Russian."
German border guard: “Occupation? "
Russian:" No - just visiting."

Originally posted by @moonbus
German border guard: "Nationality?"
Traveller: "Russian."
German border guard: “Occupation? "
Russian:" No - just visiting."

The only way for crime to never pay is to have the government take it completely over.

Originally posted by @whodey
The only way for crime to never pay is to have the government take it completely over.

I just told my psychiatrist I have suicidal tendencies.
He says I have to start paying in advance.

Originally posted by @captain-strange
I just told my psychiatrist I have suicidal tendencies.
He says I have to start paying in advance.

A young and inexperienced groom, heir to a successful Chinese restaurant, takes his new bride to the honeymoon suite. Embarrassed to admit that he doesn’t quite know what to do on his wedding night, he hopes his new bride will show some initiative.

Groom: “Darling, we can do anything you want.”
Bride: “I want to try 69.”
Groom (puzzled): “69?”
Bride: “yes, 69.”
Groom, reaching for the telephone and dialing.
Bride: “Who are you calling?”
Groom: “My mother.”
Bride (incredulous): “You’re calling your mother, from the bridal suite!?”
Groom (into telephone): “Hello mom? She wants 69. Send over an order of garlic prawns on glass noodles, for two.”

A blond was driving down the road when she noticed another blonde rowing a boat in the middle of a field. The blonde pulled the car over and said, “What do you think you are doing? You’re giving us blondes a bad name. If I could swim, I’d get out and kick your butt!”

Originally posted by @great-big-stees
A blond was driving down the road when she noticed another blonde rowing a boat in the middle of a field. The blonde pulled the car over and said, “What do you think you are doing? You’re giving us blondes a bad name. If I could swim, I’d get out and kick your butt!”

Originally posted by @suzianne
🙁

Originally posted by @suzianne
🙁

Originally posted by @great-big-stees
A blond was driving down the road when she noticed another blonde rowing a boat in the middle of a field. The blonde pulled the car over and said, “What do you think you are doing? You’re giving us blondes a bad name. If I could swim, I’d get out and kick your butt!”

Originally posted by @mudfinger
Now that's pretty funny GBS. Now quit while you're ahead... ;o)

Originally posted by @sonhouse
Wow, just a head! That must make it hard to type🙂