1. SubscriberPonderable
    chemist
    Linkenheim
    Joined
    22 Apr '05
    Moves
    653684
    03 Jun '18 15:411 edit
    Originally posted by @fmf
    A hotel guest in Port Moresby comes down to reception to make a few requests about the room he has just checked in to.

    "The mini bar is empty. I'd like it filled."

    "Very good, sir."

    "I can't seem to adjust the air conditioning".

    "Of course. We'll send a technician up."

    "Could I arrange it so that no calls are put through to the room?"

    "R ...[text shortened]... are."

    "And I'd like the porn disabled."

    "All our porn is just regular porn, you creep!"
    We had the discussion that the joke seems to be the same to all people except you...

    A man chcks into a hotel and hears a lot of laughing i a confernce room. He is nosey so he looks in to see what is on. Some guy says "153" roaring laughter. He asks a bystnader what the sense is. The bystander says: This is the convention of jokers, to save time they tell jokes after their number.
    At this point someone yells "20786"
    Laughter with no end.
    Asks the preson what is now? Ansers the bysatnder: Nobody knew that one...
  2. Joined
    14 Mar '04
    Moves
    173583
    07 Jun '18 16:21
    I just took a leaflet out of my mailbox, informing me that I can have sex at 79. I'm so happy, because I live at number 75. So it's not too far to walk home afterwards. What's best is it's the same side of the street. I don't even have to cross the road!




















    And
  3. Gothenburg
    Joined
    11 Mar '16
    Moves
    26709
    07 Jun '18 16:31
    Originally posted by @great-big-stees
    I just took a leaflet out of my mailbox, informing me that I can have sex at 79. I'm so happy, because I live at number 75. So it's not too far to walk home afterwards. What's best is it's the same side of the street. I don't even have to cross the road!




















    And
    Safe sex 🙂
  4. Joined
    14 Mar '04
    Moves
    173583
    07 Jun '18 16:53
    Originally posted by @torunn
    Safe sex 🙂
    That's NO joke. 🙄😀
  5. Gothenburg
    Joined
    11 Mar '16
    Moves
    26709
    07 Jun '18 17:01
    Originally posted by @great-big-stees
    That's NO joke. 🙄😀
    Sex is never a joke. 🙂
  6. Joined
    14 Mar '04
    Moves
    173583
    07 Jun '18 17:06
    Originally posted by @torunn
    Sex is never a joke. 🙂
    What about the lady who asked the "gentleman, "Who are you going to satisfy with that?" "Me", he said.
  7. Gothenburg
    Joined
    11 Mar '16
    Moves
    26709
    07 Jun '18 17:082 edits
    Originally posted by @great-big-stees
    What about the lady who asked the "gentleman, "Who are you going to satisfy with that?" "Me", he said.
    Sounds quite realistic to me. And that's no joke either. 🙂

    Speaking of jokes, here's an old one:


    Q. Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

    A. In case he got a hole in one.
  8. Joined
    14 Mar '04
    Moves
    173583
    07 Jun '18 17:34
    Originally posted by @torunn
    Sounds quite realistic to me. And that's no joke either. 🙂

    Speaking of jokes, here's an old one:


    Q. Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

    A. In case he got a hole in one.
    Being, as you know, a golfer myself, I love that. Thanks.
  9. Standard memberXYYZ
    The 'Fett'
    Phx
    Joined
    01 Oct '17
    Moves
    6807
    15 Jun '18 11:34
    Announcer 1- "Why is Tiger Woods only wearing one sock on the fairway?"
    Announcer 2- "Because he has a 'hole in one!"
  10. Joined
    14 Mar '04
    Moves
    173583
    15 Jun '18 12:31
    My wife and I had words, but I didn't get to use mine.
  11. Gothenburg
    Joined
    11 Mar '16
    Moves
    26709
    15 Jun '18 15:281 edit
    A man and his wife were traveling down the highway when they saw the lights of a patrol car behind them. When they pulled over, the patrol man came up to the window and said, "I am going to give you two tickets. One because you were speeding and one because you didn't have your seat belt fastened." The man said, "I did too have my seat belt fastened. I just loosened it when you came up to the car." The Patrol Man said to the man's wife, "I know he didn't have his seatbelt fastened. Isn't that right, lady?" She replied, "Well, officer. I learned a long time ago not to argue with my husband when he's drunk."
  12. The Ghost Chamber
    Joined
    14 Mar '15
    Moves
    28598
    16 Jun '18 19:32
    We're looking for some good vegetable jokes.

    If you have some, lettuce know.

    😞
  13. Gothenburg
    Joined
    11 Mar '16
    Moves
    26709
    16 Jun '18 19:45
    Originally posted by @ghost-of-a-duke
    We're looking for some good vegetable jokes.

    If you have some, lettuce know.

    😞
    🙂
  14. Joined
    06 Nov '15
    Moves
    41301
    17 Jun '18 05:22
    Originally posted by @ghost-of-a-duke
    We're looking for some good vegetable jokes.

    If you have some, lettuce know.

    😞
    Vegetable jokes can get pretty dicey.
  15. Subscribercoquette
    Already mated
    Omaha, Nebraska, USA
    Joined
    04 Jul '06
    Moves
    1113860
    17 Jun '18 06:27
    Originally posted by @wolfe63
    Vegetable jokes can get pretty dicey.
    I've got a 24 carrot one for you.
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