Go back
Jokes

Jokes

General

1 edit
Vote Up
Vote Down

Originally posted by @fmf
A hotel guest in Port Moresby comes down to reception to make a few requests about the room he has just checked in to.

"The mini bar is empty. I'd like it filled."

"Very good, sir."

"I can't seem to adjust the air conditioning".

"Of course. We'll send a technician up."

"Could I arrange it so that no calls are put through to the room?"

"R ...[text shortened]... are."

"And I'd like the porn disabled."

"All our porn is just regular porn, you creep!"
We had the discussion that the joke seems to be the same to all people except you...

A man chcks into a hotel and hears a lot of laughing i a confernce room. He is nosey so he looks in to see what is on. Some guy says "153" roaring laughter. He asks a bystnader what the sense is. The bystander says: This is the convention of jokers, to save time they tell jokes after their number.
At this point someone yells "20786"
Laughter with no end.
Asks the preson what is now? Ansers the bysatnder: Nobody knew that one...

Vote Up
Vote Down

I just took a leaflet out of my mailbox, informing me that I can have sex at 79. I'm so happy, because I live at number 75. So it's not too far to walk home afterwards. What's best is it's the same side of the street. I don't even have to cross the road!




















And

Vote Up
Vote Down

Originally posted by @great-big-stees
I just took a leaflet out of my mailbox, informing me that I can have sex at 79. I'm so happy, because I live at number 75. So it's not too far to walk home afterwards. What's best is it's the same side of the street. I don't even have to cross the road!




















And
Safe sex 🙂

Vote Up
Vote Down

Originally posted by @torunn
Safe sex 🙂
That's NO joke. 🙄😀

Vote Up
Vote Down

Originally posted by @great-big-stees
That's NO joke. 🙄😀
Sex is never a joke. 🙂

Vote Up
Vote Down

Originally posted by @torunn
Sex is never a joke. 🙂
What about the lady who asked the "gentleman, "Who are you going to satisfy with that?" "Me", he said.

2 edits
Vote Up
Vote Down

Originally posted by @great-big-stees
What about the lady who asked the "gentleman, "Who are you going to satisfy with that?" "Me", he said.
Sounds quite realistic to me. And that's no joke either. 🙂

Speaking of jokes, here's an old one:


Q. Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

A. In case he got a hole in one.

Vote Up
Vote Down

Originally posted by @torunn
Sounds quite realistic to me. And that's no joke either. 🙂

Speaking of jokes, here's an old one:


Q. Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

A. In case he got a hole in one.
Being, as you know, a golfer myself, I love that. Thanks.

Vote Up
Vote Down

Announcer 1- "Why is Tiger Woods only wearing one sock on the fairway?"
Announcer 2- "Because he has a 'hole in one!"

Vote Up
Vote Down

My wife and I had words, but I didn't get to use mine.

1 edit
Vote Up
Vote Down

A man and his wife were traveling down the highway when they saw the lights of a patrol car behind them. When they pulled over, the patrol man came up to the window and said, "I am going to give you two tickets. One because you were speeding and one because you didn't have your seat belt fastened." The man said, "I did too have my seat belt fastened. I just loosened it when you came up to the car." The Patrol Man said to the man's wife, "I know he didn't have his seatbelt fastened. Isn't that right, lady?" She replied, "Well, officer. I learned a long time ago not to argue with my husband when he's drunk."

Vote Up
Vote Down

We're looking for some good vegetable jokes.

If you have some, lettuce know.

😞

Vote Up
Vote Down

Originally posted by @ghost-of-a-duke
We're looking for some good vegetable jokes.

If you have some, lettuce know.

😞
🙂

Vote Up
Vote Down

Originally posted by @ghost-of-a-duke
We're looking for some good vegetable jokes.

If you have some, lettuce know.

😞
Vegetable jokes can get pretty dicey.

Vote Up
Vote Down

Originally posted by @wolfe63
Vegetable jokes can get pretty dicey.
I've got a 24 carrot one for you.

Cookies help us deliver our Services. By using our Services or clicking I agree, you agree to our use of cookies. Learn More.