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Originally posted by redbadger
just at that moment in burst miss Ellie who swiftly realised she was on the wrong set and 25 years to late.
Ellie, running into Woody Allen on the way out, started crying her heart out, and Woody said, there there, it's not THAT bad, come up to my place.....

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Originally posted by sonhouse
Ellie, running into Woody Allen on the way out, started crying her heart out, and Woody said, there there, it's not THAT bad, come up to my place.....
Ellie said, "Hang on a moment. don't I know you from somewhere? Oh ya didn't you marry your wife's daughter?"

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Originally posted by Great Big Stees
Ellie said, "Hang on a moment. don't I know you from somewhere? Oh ya didn't you marry your wife's daughter?"
yes that is true but I also made a lot of piss poor films.

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Originally posted by redbadger
yes that is true but I also made a lot of piss poor films.
which I sold to a cable network to finance a giant aquarium in my basement

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Originally posted by robbie carrobie
which I sold to a cable network to finance a giant aquarium in my basement
but sadly I only got enough to buy my ex wife current mother in law a string to shut her mouth.

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Originally posted by Tabitha Marshall
but sadly I only got enough to buy my ex wife current mother in law a string to shut her mouth.
but she was so voracious that she chewed it up and made . . . . . .

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Originally posted by robbie carrobie
but she was so voracious that she chewed it up and made . . . . . .
a Chinese finger torture thing and grabbed my finger and stuck it on, then...

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Originally posted by sonhouse
a Chinese finger torture thing and grabbed my finger and stuck it on, then...
She commenced tickling me and made me...

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Originally posted by Great Big Stees
She commenced tickling me and made me...
Puke all over her nice new shirt, then I

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Originally posted by sonhouse
Puke all over her nice new shirt, then I
realised I had left the Bunsen burner on.

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Originally posted by redbadger
realised I had left the Bunsen burner on.
I saw the burner was about to set a periodic table on fire so I aimed some of my puke onto the burner putting it out, but that resulted in gas coming out which

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Originally posted by sonhouse
I saw the burner was about to set a periodic table on fire so I aimed some of my puke onto the burner putting it out, but that resulted in gas coming out which
spread fire on a stable of dictionaries next to Bunsen burner, destroying the postmodern irony that he could only there find the definition of that burning object.

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Originally posted by vandervelde
spread fire on a stable of dictionaries next to Bunsen burner, destroying the postmodern irony that he could only there find the definition of that burning object.
Chapter II
With the burner and the books burned, the walking flame, the darty bum, the husband who was not longer such but now a son in law, Ellie wondered what would come up next.

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Originally posted by Tabitha Marshall
Chapter II
With the burner and the books burned, the walking flame, the darty bum, the husband who was not longer such but now a son in law, Ellie wondered what would come up next.
She didn't have to wait long because when she turned around to see what the noise was, standing there in the doorway was...

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Originally posted by Great Big Stees
She didn't have to wait long because when she turned around to see what the noise was, standing there in the doorway was...
... the man who had once been a boy growing up on a small farm in Kansas.