JW once could not play chess đ number 59
I AM DOING THIS IN LOVE TO SHOW THE ERROR OF THE JW’S WAYS.
http://watchthetower.net/reasons.html
For 59. I had a different website that I found on my iphone:
http://www.jehovahswitnessblog.com/awake-bloopers/checkmate/
RBHILL: my thoughts under will be for example 1a., 2a., ect.
-Compiled by Paul & Pat Blizard
Former Third Generation Jehovah's Witnesses
Of all items listed, only three have been discontinued. (highlighted in red)
All are listed, however, to show the absurdity of Watchtower rules and the absolute control leadership
has over the lives of members once they join.
1. God is not a Trinity; the doctrine is inspired by the Devil 1a. đ
2. Jesus Christ is a "created being," who at one time did not exist 2a. the word says he always was.
3. Jesus is not to be worshiped or prayed to-he is only an angel (a.k.a. Michael the archangel) 3a. stupid.
4. The Holy Spirit is not a person but is "God's active force" i.e. gravity, electricity etc. 4a. the holy spirit lives in the follower of Jesus.
5. Heaven is hope only for select Jehovah's Witnesses. The majority of JW’s hope to live on "paradise earth" 5a. ridiculous.
6. Heaven is limited only to 144,000 Jehovah's Witnesses.There are only 9,105 alive today (2006 figures) 6a. The 144,000 are Jews in the end times. From Adam to Jesus would have already had 144,000 so then no JW’s would have made it. This is respunkulious.
7. Jehovah's Witnesses are the only "true Christians." All churches and denominations are considered "false religion" 7a. This just controls their followers.
8. There is no Hell or eternal judgment ("Hell" is simply the grave) Hell is real and is describe in the Bible. 8a. A loving God would not annihilate humans.
9. There is no life after death except for the 144,000 Jehovah's Witnesses 9a. If there is no life but for the 144,000 then there would be no paradise on earth for all the other 6 million JW’s.
10. Salvation is earned only by being a loyal Jehovah's Witness 10a. Sad to only hope for salvation when the word declares that you can know you have eternal life. 1 John 5:13 I write YOU these things that YOU may know that YOU have life everlasting, YOU who put YOUR faith in the name of the Son of God.
11. Jesus second coming happened invisibly and secretly in 1914 11a. He will come back physically and every eye will see.
12. The "first resurrection" occurred in 1918 12a. wrong.
13. Jesus did not rise from the dead bodily but as a spirit being 13a. Tomas touched his side.
14. Jesus was equal to Adam (just a man) 14a. Jesus was God’s only true son.
15. Jesus could have sinned and failed in his mission 15a. He didn’t though.
16. Jesus was not born the savior but became the savior at his baptism 16a.He was born savior but finished his work on the Cross or touchier stack if you will.
17. God is not omnipresent 17a. What? đ
18. God is not omniscient 18a. What? He knows all are thoughts.
19. JWs are not sure of their salvation 19a. sucks for them 1 John 5:13
20. All earthly governments are controlled by the Devil 20a. yes and no. The bible claims that God places people in office.
21. The Holy Spirit is only available to select Jehovah's Witnesses 21a. He lives in all believers and the start of a true convertion.
22. They are forbidden to serve in the military 22a. This is good in a way, so that you don’t kill people and they go to hell unsaved.
23. They are forbidden to buy Girl Scout cookies. 23a. Stupid, even though I personally do not like the cookies myself accept for the peanut butter ones.
THE WEBSITE DOESN’T HAVE 24-29 đ
30. They are forbidden to celebrate any holidays (Christmas, Easter, etc.) 30a. This is the celebration of victory over satn, death , hell, and the grave.
31. They are forbidden to celebrate their birthday. 31a. this is the celebration of life, JW’s like to celebrate death according to the story of this guys daughter.
32. They are forbidden to run for or hold a political office. 32a. Praise God!!!!
33. They are forbidden to vote in any political campaign 33a. Prasie God again!!!!
34. They are forbidden to serve on a jury. 34a. Thank God for this because they probably would let people free.
35. They are forbidden to own or wear a cross. 35a. I don’t wear jewelry, but this is stupid.
36. They are forbidden to speak to former members who are shunned (disfellowshipped) 36a. This bible teaches love not hate towards those that leave the faith you are in so that you can win them back. But this is still control. You can’t win someone back with rejecting them but loving them.
37. They are forbidden to accept Christmas gifts. 37a. Good save me some money.
38. They are forbidden to purchase Christian products (books, music, plaques, pictures etc.) 38a. this is control so that they will not find out the truth. đ
39. They are forbidden to read Christian literature 39a. same as 38a. comment.
40. They are forbidden to have friends who are not Jehovah's Witnesses. 40a. Sad, Jesus would want you to so that you could witness to them.
41. They are forbidden to marry a non-Jehovah's Witness. 41a. Stupid, but I wouldn’t want to marry an unsaved spouse.
42. They are forbidden to salute the flag, stand for the national anthem, or own a flag. 42a đ
43. They are forbidden to say "God bless you" when someone sneezes. 43a. lame, why not Jehovah bless you.
44. They are forbidden to have a tattoo. 44a. I wouldn’t want one my self unless it was the Buffalo Bills symbol.
45. They are forbidden to use pet foods made with blood or blood products. 45a. who cares about this one.
46. They are forbidden to donate blood or their organs. 46a. You don’t want to help save a life and be a good witness?
47. They are forbidden to read any anti-Jehovah's Witness material 47a. You should be open to all thinks to Test the faith as the word says.
48. They are forbidden to interpret the Bible without Watchtower literature to explain it. 48a. Very controlling.
49. They are forbidden to wear any Christian jewelry. 49a. whatever.
50. They are forbidden to support their country and be patriotic. 50a. lame, but thank God.
51. They are forbidden to be involved in martial arts, boxing or wrestling. 51a. fine don’t defend yourself.
52. They are forbidden to join any clubs or sports teams. 52a. Stupid, controlling.
53. They are forbidden to participate in a school play. 53a. Sad, turn your kids into losers.
54. They are forbidden to use any tobacco products. 54a. I hate tobacco myself.
55. They are forbidden to attend the funeral of an ex-Jehovah's Witness. 55a. This is crazy!!!! And sad đ and controlling.
56. They are forbidden to say "good luck" 56a. I hope you don’t say this at the beginning of your chess matches.
57. They are forbidden to be a police officer. 57a. no comment on this one.
58. Women are forbidden pray in the presence of men without a hat or head covering 58a. dumb and controlling.
59. They are forbidden to play chess. 59a. this is no longer a rule but I was hoping to say bye to you guys. If they are forbidden to play chess you could say that about a lot of things. Examples: checkers, video games, sports, tennis (Williams’s sisters), car racing and so on. OH AND RULES SHOULDN’T BE CHANGED!
60. They are forbidden to wear jade jewelry 60a. whatever.
61. They must not own wind-chimes (they are for chasing away evil spirits) 61a. No really.
62. They must read and study Watchtower literature regularly. 62a. here Robbie always complains and says that I get my information from my pastor. I tell you read the Bible for yourself and not the WT literature.
63. They must go from door to door weekly to gain converts. 63a. why not do this everywhere?
64. They must attend five meetings per week. 64a. this leave no time to study the word on your own.
65. Only officially approved sexual practices are allowed in marriage 65a. this is good no anal sex please.
66. Jehovah's Witness Kingdom Halls have no windows. 66a. demonic.
67. If they witness another Jehovah's Witness breaking the rules they must report them to the elders to be interrogated. 67a. I was hoping to report you for playing chess. For whatever reason the rule was changed. Probably because a leader liked to play it?
68. They are forbidden to take a blood transfusion. 68a. Not even from a family member how sad. đ
69. Men are forbidden wear beards 69a. Jesus had on and so does Jehovah.
70. The Watchtower organization is God's prophet on earth today 70a. WRONG!!!!!
71. Women must submit to the authority of Watchtower elders 71a. I like this one.
72. They must forgo vacations to attend annual conventions. 72a. This sucks!!!!
73. They must study Watchtower books at least six months before they can be baptized.73a. The Bible says believe and be baptized, not believe and read books then be baptized.
74. Before baptism, one must answer over 80 Bible questions with Scripture references in front of a panel of elders 74a. intimidation, because some people have learning disabilities and are retarded this is discrimination.
75. Most of The Book of Revelation applies to the Jehovah's Witnesses. 75a. LMAO haha.
76. They cannot celebrate Mothers or Fathers day (it may produce pride) 76a. LOL, how lame.
77. Kingdom Halls cannot have pews for seating. 77a. no comment.
78. They must appear before a Judicial Committee if they are caught breaking Watchtower rules (Secret files are kept on all members which record these meetings-these files are kept in New York and are never destroyed) 78a. CONTROLLING!! I was hoping to get you on file for playing chess.
79. All pastors are the "Antichrist" 79a. LOL, contolling. This Bible takes about that the leaders of a church are called pastors.
80. All churches are of Satan. 80a. not all, just those that don’t preach that Jesus is the only way.
81. God only speaks through the "Governing Body" in Brooklyn, New York 81a. What LIES!!!!
82. They are discouraged from attending college. 82a. Stupid. But I don’t like college myself it truly was a waste of time for me personally.
83. The Lord's supper is only to be eaten by select Jehovah's Witnesses (144,000 group-99.99% of Jehovah's Witnesses are forbidden from taking the Lord's supper) 83a. Sad đ
84. The Lord's supper can only be celebrated annually 84a. đ
85. JWs in times of crisis, are strongly discouraged from consulting with family counselors, including mental health professionals who are not Jehovah's Witnesses. 85a. Jehovah would want you to get help so you don’t kill yourself over a crisis.
86. Only faithful Jehovah's Witnesses will survive Armageddon. 86a. I guess none will survive Armageddon. đ
87. If they have a non-Witness spouse their first loyalty is to the elders over their spouse 87a. đ
88. Angels direct the Watchtower organization 88a. DEMONIC. It should be Jesus John 14:6 and Jesus is also the only mediator between God and man, the Holy Spirit, and Jehovah.
89. Judgment day is 1000 years long 89a. ????????????
90. If you leave Jehovah's Witnesses or are expelled from the organization you will not be resurrected. 90a. LOL.
91. Only Jehovah's Witness prayers are heard by God. 91a.Wrong even the bible takes about none believers prayers being heard. Example Ishmael’s prayer was answered by God.
92. Man's salvation is secondary in God's plan; Jesus was sent to "vindicate Jehovah's name" 92a. whatever?
93. God will destroy all non-Jehovah's Witnesses at Armageddon. 93a. God is a loving God he will not destroy non-Jehovah’s.
94. They are strongly discouraged from giving to charity (except Watchtower causes) 94a. who cares on this one.
95. They must never enter a church building 95a. stupid, a Church is just a building.
96. They must never attend a church service. 96a. Sad for them not to seek out the truth.
97. They are discouraged from buying a two door car-A "Theocratic" or "spiritually strong" Jehovah's Witness will have a full size car for the door to door work. 97a. no comment, accept if they have a SUV they are a gas guzzler, lol.
98. Men must wear short hair. 98a. no comment, but Jesus had long hair.
99. They must refer to all Jehovah's Witnesses as "brother" or "sister". 99a. well duh, all churches are like that.
100. They can never question what is printed in Watchtower literature. 100a. SAD, CONTROLLING!!!!!
101. They must report their witnessing activity to the elders. 101a. CONTROLLING!!!!!
What they're called...
-JW services are called "meetings"
-JW hymnals are called "song books" (all songs have to be composed by JWs)
-The JW religion is referred to by the Witnesses as "The Truth"
-The JWs call themselves "The only true Christians"
-The Watchtower Bible and Tract Society Inc. of Brooklyn, New York is called "God's Organization"
-In conversation JWs call Watchtower headquarters "The Society"
-All other religions (pagan, Christian, or any world religion) are called "Babylon the Great"
-All Christian pastors and ministers are called the "Antichrist"
-Changes in doctrine is called "New Light" (HOW COULD THERE BE CHANGE?)
-The five meetings JWs must attend are called:
1. Public Talk
2. Watchtower Study
3. Area Book Study
4. Theocratic School
5. Service Meeting
-A non-Witness is called "a worldly person"
-A person who rejects the JW message is called a "goat"
-A person who is studying to become a JW is called "a study"
-God's judgment on all non JWs is called "Armageddon"
-The JW Bible is called "New World Translation
-The door to door work is called "the Service"
-Those who bring "new light" or new revelations to the JWs are called "The faithful and discreet slave" (Discreet sould evil)
-JWs who have an earthly hope are called "Other Sheep" ( I have a heavenly hope)
-Old term for JWs with the earthly hope were called "Jonadab"
-JWs who have a heavenly hope are called "Anointed Remnant"
-A JW who is enthusiastic is called "theocratic"
-Every JW is called a "Publisher"
-Part time door to door workers are called "Auxiliary Pioneers"
-Full time door to door workers are called "Regular Pioneers"
-Full time door to door workers who have stricter quotas than Regular Pioneers, are called "Special Pioneers"
-Appointed Local leaders are called "Elders"
-Appointed Local helpers/workers are called "Ministerial Servants"
-The group responsible for discipline are called "The Judicial Committee"
-A traveling Watchtower representative is called a "Circuit Overseer"
-The Circuit Overseer's boss is called "District Overseer"
-The District Overseer's boss is called "Zone Overseer"
-The Zone Overseer's boss is called "Branch Overseer"
-The Brooklyn, New York Headquarters is called "Bethel"
-Headquarters workers are called "Bethelites"
-A person who is a weak Witness is called "unspiritual" or "Un-theocratic" ( This is Robbie)
-A JW who is publicly disciplined by the elders is called "publicly reproved"
-A JW who is privately disciplined by the elders is called "privately reproved"
-A JW who rejects Watchtower teachings and leaves or is expelled is called "an apostate"
-A JW who breaks any of the Watchtower rules and does not repent to the elders is "disfellowshipped" (Shunned)
-A disfellowshipped person who wants to return to the organization, repents to the elders and is called "reinstated" (JW can get there salvation back đ )
-Jehovah's Witness meeting places are called "Kingdom Halls"
Why so much hatred, is it because you also hate Jesus that you hate us? Christ did say that his true followers would be objects of hatred, thank you for confirming that to me, although I never doubted it for a moment.
(Colossians 1:15) He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of all creation
Clearly Christ was a created being. Why do you hate Jesus by saying that he was not?
- Joined
- 16 Jan 07
- Moves
- 95105
Originally posted by robbie carrobieim guessing that this is all bllx, tell me im right? pinky promise robbie.
Why so much hatred, is it because you also hate Jesus that you hate us? Christ did say that his true followers would be objects of hatred, thank you for confirming that to me, although I never doubted it for a moment.
(Colossians 1:15) He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of all creation
Clearly Christ was a created being. Why do you hate Jesus by saying that he was not?
Originally posted by stellspalfieno some of it is true, but like all of these haters , they take things out of context. Ask me anyone you like and ill try and answer it to the best of my ability. Its all been done before. You think the haters might come up with something original. How do they spend their time if they are not teaching and preaching Gods word, oh thats right, they pay someone else to do it for them. Haters gonna hate.
im guessing that this is all bllx, tell me im right? pinky promise robbie.
Originally posted by robbie carrobieYou take RB far too seriously. Pretend he's a male version of the Kelly Bundy character on Married With Children. If anything, he's even more entertaining. I could not write a better caricature if I tried.
Why so much hatred, is it because you also hate Jesus that you hate us? Christ did say that his true followers would be objects of hatred, thank you for confirming that to me, although I never doubted it for a moment.
(Colossians 1:15) He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of all creation
Clearly Christ was a created being. Why do you hate Jesus by saying that he was not?
- Joined
- 16 Jan 07
- Moves
- 95105
Originally posted by robbie carrobieyeah, but there are a few bizzaro ones on there. how many would you say (roughly) are nonsense.
wow the place where we meet is called a Kingdom Hall, controversial stuff, perhaps that's why it says , Kingdom Hall of Jehovahs witnesses on the outside!
- Joined
- 16 Jan 07
- Moves
- 95105
Originally posted by SwissGambitahh kelly bundy!!! when i was 13 i would....................sorry, mental note not to lower the tone anymore.
You take RB far too seriously. Pretend he's a male version of the Kelly Bundy character on Married With Children. If anything, he's even more entertaining. I could not write a better caricature if I tried.
Originally posted by SwissGambitahhhhh Kelly, hes like a boobless Kelly, an airhead never the less, gotcha!
You take RB far too seriously. Pretend he's a male version of the Kelly Bundy character on Married With Children. If anything, he's even more entertaining. I could not write a better caricature if I tried.