A blonde walks into a department store, points and says, "I want to buy that T.V.".
The man looks, then replies, "Sorry mam. we don't sell to stupid people."
The blonde leaves the store, goes and redoes her makeup, and dies her hair red.
She goes back to the department store, points again, and says: "I'd like to buy that T.V.!"
The man says to her: "Sorry mam. we don't sell to stupid people."
The blonde then asks: "How'd you know it was me?"
The man smiles and says: "Mam, that's a microwave."
I am not being mean to blondes. i am a blonde. i think they are funny.
Originally posted by ZelindaFigures. Only a blonde would spell "ma'am" m-a-m.
A blonde walks into a department store, points and says, "I want to buy that T.V.".
The man looks, then replies, "Sorry mam. we don't sell to stupid people."
The blonde leaves the store, goes and redoes her makeup, and dies her hair red.
She goes back to the department store, points again, and says: "I'd like to buy that T.V.!"
The man says to ...[text shortened]... ave."
I am not being mean to blondes. i am a blonde. i think they are funny.
A blonde comes into a toy store and tells the clerk she needs a birthday present for her nephew but has a limited budget.
He says, "How about a skate board?"
"A Skateboard would be perfect. How much does that cost?"She asks.
"$125.00"
"That's too much. I need something a lot cheaper." she says.
"OK, how about a baseball bat then?"
"That'd be OK, I guess. How much for that?"she asks.
"$20.00"
"Great. I'll take it!"Says the blonde.
The clerk asks,"Do you wanna' ball for it?"
She hesitates, and then says, "No, but I'll blow you for the skateboard."
Originally posted by Zelindatwo blondes were going on vacation.
A blonde walks into a department store, points and says, "I want to buy that T.V.".
The man looks, then replies, "Sorry mam. we don't sell to stupid people."
The blonde leaves the store, goes and redoes her makeup, and dies her hair red.
She goes back to the department store, points again, and says: "I'd like to buy that T.V.!"
The man says to ...[text shortened]... ave."
I am not being mean to blondes. i am a blonde. i think they are funny.
on the way to the airport they saw a sign "airport left",
so they both went home.
A blonde has just gotten a new sports car. She cuts out in front of a truck, and almost causes it to drive over a cliff. The driver furiously motions for her to pull over, and she does. The driver gets out and draws a circle and tells her to stand in it. Then he gets out his knife and cuts up her leather seats. He turns around and sees she's smiling. So he goes to his truck, takes out a baseball bat, and starts busting her windows and beating her car. He looks back to see that she's laughing. He's really mad now, so he takes his knife and slices her tires. He turns around and she's laughing so hard, she's about to fall down. He demands, "What's so funny?"
She says, "Every time you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle!"
A plane is on its way to Melbourne when a blonde in Economy Class gets
> up and moves to the First Class section and sits down.
> The flight attendant watches her do this and asks to see her ticket.
> She then tells the blonde passenger that she paid for 'Economy' and that
> she
> will have to go and sit in the back.
> The blonde replies 'I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Melbourne
> and I'm staying right here!'
> The flight attendant goes into the cockpit and tells the pilot and
> co-pilot that there is some blonde bimbo sitting in First Class that
> belongs in Economy and won't move back to her seat.
> The co-pilot goes back to the blonde and tries to explain that because
> she only paid for Economy she is only entitled to an economy place and
> she will have to leave and return to her original seat.
> The blonde replies, 'I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Melbourne
> and I' m staying right here!'
> Exasperated the co-pilot tells the pilot that it was no use and that he
> probably should have the police waiting when they land to arrest this
> blonde woman that won't listen to reason.
> The pilot says, 'You say she's blonde? I'll handle this, I'm married to
> a blonde, and I speak blonde!'
> He goes back to the blonde, whispers in her ear, and she says "Oh, I'm
> sorry - I had no idea," gets up and moves back to her seat in the
> economy section.
> The flight attendant and co-pilot are amazed and asked him what he said
> to make her move without any fuss.
> The Pilot replied "I told her First Class isn't going to Melbourne".
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A Cajun walks into a bar with a pet alligator by his side. He puts
the alligator up on the bar.
He turns to the astonished patrons. "I'll make you a
deal. I'll open this alligator's mouth and place my
manhood inside. Then the gator will close his mouth for one minute.
"Then open his mouth and I'll remove my unit unscathed. In return
for witnessing this spectacle, each of you will buy me a drink."
The crowd murmured their approval.
The man stood up on the bar, dropped his trousers, and placed his
Johnson and related parts in the alligator's open mouth. The gator
closed his mouth as the crowd gasped. After a minute, the man
grabbed a beer bottle and smacked the alligator hard on the top of
its head. The gator opened his mouth and the man removed his
genitals unscathed as promised.
The crowd cheered, and the first of his free drinks were delivered.
The man stood up again and made another offer. "I'll pay anyone $100
who's willing to give it a try."
A hush fell over the crowd. After a while, a hand went up in the
back of the bar.
A Blonde woman timidly spoke up..........."I'll try It!
Just don't hit me so hard with the beer bottle!"
This woman walks into a bank and asks for a 1000 USD lone, stating as reason that she needs to travel for three weeks and she's short on cash. The bank teller says he'll need some collateral. She asks him if her brand new Ferrari will do?
Obviously the bank teller agree, and with a grin on his face he accept the keys.
Three weeks later the woman returns to repay the loan with interest. When handing over the keys, the bank teller ask her why she needed the loan, when obviously she has more than enough money to get by?
"Where else can I park my car for three weeks at the cost of a 1000 dollar, three week loan interest?"
---
You didn't say it had to be a stupid blonde. Just blonde jokes. Although, I must say I wonder how we can determine that the joke is in fact blonde.
If you need a stupid blonde to be one of the characters in this joke, we can say that the male bank teller was blonde. 😀
A guy sits down next to his friend in the theatre. While waiting for the movie to start, he sayI heard a great blond joke the other day. His friend shakes his head and nods toward a huge blong guy sitting on the other side of him. He starts to tell the joke and his friend shakes his head more urgently and nods at the blond lady sitting behind him. The guy starts one more time and his frined inturupts him and pointing out the blond to the guys right says, I don't hink you want to tell that now. The guy replies "yeah I wouldn't want to have to explain it 3 times".
How do you drown a blond?
Put a scratch & sniff sticker at the bottom of a swimming pool.
2 blonds were walking in the woods when they came across some tracks. One said they were deer tracks, the other said they were moose. They were still arguing when the train hit them.