- Joined
- 06 Nov 15
- Moves
- 41301
Why shouldn't you tell a secret on a farm?
- Because potatoes have eyes and corn have ears.
Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick's Day?
- Because actual rocks are too heavy.
Why did the cabbage win the race?
- Because it was ahead.
Why was the cucumber so mad?
- Because it was in a pickle!
Little Johnny was doing his math homework.
He said to himself, “Two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven. Three plus six, that son of a bitch is nine.”
His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, “What are you doing?"
The little boy answered, “I’m doing my math homework.”
“And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?” the mother asked.
“Yes,” he answered.
Infuriated, the mother called Little Johnny’s teacher the next day and said, “What are you teaching my son in class?”
The teacher replied, “Right now, we are learning addition.”
The mother asked, “And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a bitch is four?”
After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, “What I taught them was, two plus two, the sum of which is four.”
A father who is very much concerned about his son’s bad grades in math decides to register him at a Catholic school.
After his first term there, the son brings home his report card: he’s getting “A”s in math.
The father is, of course, pleased, but wants to know: “Why are your math grades suddenly so good?”
“You know”, the son explains, “when I walked into the classroom the first day, and I saw that guy on the wall nailed to a plus sign, I knew one thing: This place means business!”