My wife asked me to get some of those pills that help you get an erection.
Next day I threw her a bottle of diet pills.
Doctor said my broken jaw will heal eventually.
Marriage, like a circus, has 3 rings:
- The engagement ring; wedding ring and suffering.
My son wanted to know what it's like to be married.
- I told him to leave me alone and when he did, I asked him why he was ignoring me.
Wife: "It’s been raining for days now and my husband seems very depressed by it. He keeps standing by the window, staring."
- "If it continues, I’m going to have to let him in."
I was standing at the counter in a bar one night, minding my own business, when a sturdy not so pretty woman walked up to me, grabbed my arse, and said:
"Hi, Pretty boy, got a phone number?"
I said yes I have, have you got a pen?
She said yes, and took it out, ready to write.
I said," Better get back to your pen before your farmer misses you."
Only six stitches...
I went to the chemist and told the girl behind the counter, "Give me three packets of condoms, please."
Lady assistant:"Do you need a paper bag with that, sir?"
I said, "No, ... she's pretty good looking..."
@pawnpawsaid I went to the chemist and told the girl behind the counter, "Give me three packets of condoms, please."
Lady assistant:"Do you need a paper bag with that, sir?"
I said, "No, ... she's pretty good looking..."
Good joke. I am literally laughing. My wife may stir momentarily. I'd better take care.