@torunnsaid What would you do without these amusing blondes...? 🙂
a pretty blond enters a motor accessory shop
she askes the assistant if he sells dipsticks
he says ineed we do madam but we rarely get asked for them can i ask why you need a new one
the blond replies "because the one in the car cant reach the oil"
A gorgeous blonde bombshell in a miniskirt with legs that went all the way to the floor came storming into a convenience store and desperately said that her phone battery was dead and pleaded to borrow a mobile for just a moment to make a quick call . . .
An ordinary looking middle age dark haired Plain Jane clerk snickered and said, "Sure, Honey, I'm sure you could if someone would show you how."
The gorgeous blonde blushed with a sultry pout and walked out, all eyes tracking her graceful steps. As she slid into her BMW and drove off, she took a quick glance in her rear view mirror to catch a glimpse of the dumpster fire flames lapping up on the eave of the roof of the mini mart.
She punched in her happy track the sound system as she plugged in her phone USB cable in her BMW as she drove off.
I went to the local pub last night (no I'm not a pub crawler) and saw a BIG woman dancing on the table.
I said, "Good legs."
The woman giggled and said," Do you really think so?"
I said,"Definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now."
Cost me another six stitches...
A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day, their passions overcame them in the office and they took off for her house. Exhausted from the afternoon's activities, they fell asleep and awoke at around 8 p.m. As the man threw on his clothes, he told the woman to take his shoes outside and rub them through the grass and dirt. Confused, she nonetheless complied and he slipped into his shoes and drove home. "Where have you been?" demanded his wife when he entered the house. "Darling," replied the man, "I can't lie to you. I've been having an affair with my secretary. I fell asleep in her bed and didn't wake up until eight o'clock." The wife glanced down at his shoes and said, "You liar! You've been playing golf!"
MOM says to her daughter "what would you like for your birthday"
Daughter replied"can I have a Barbie and GI joe"
MOM replies"but darling Barbie comes with Ken"
the Daughter replies "no she doent she cums with Joe she only Fakes it with Ken"
A young ventriloquist was touring Sweden and, one night, he was doing a show in a small fishing town. With his dummy on his knee, he started going through some of his standard dumb blonde jokes.
Suddenly, a blonde woman in the fourth row stood on her chair and started shouting: "I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes.
What makes you think you can stereotype Swedish blonde women that way? What does the color of a woman's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's men like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community, and from reaching our full potential as people. It's people like you who make others think that all blondes are dumb! You and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against, not only blondes, but women in general; pathetically, all in the name of humor!"
The stunned ventriloquist started to apologize, but the blonde interrupted and screamed: "You stay out of this! I'm talking to that little twerp sitting on your lap.
Jokes
07 Feb '20 14:42
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