Jokes

Recently online I compared Donald Trump to Satan .
Now Satan has filed a lawsuit against me claiming defamation of character .
My lawyer suggests we should offer a settlement .

Divegeester

@rookie54 said
the king: slow, useless in combat, impotent

the queen: the most powerful creature to ever slaughter the enemy

chess
bucking the patriarchy for close to two millenia

I tried to go to the local kleptomaniac support group ... but all the seats were taken.

On the way home I spotted an albino dalmatian.
It was the least I could do.

@orangutan said
On the way home I spotted an albino dalmatian.
It was the least I could do.

VIAGRA SHIPMENT STOLEN
Cops looking for a gang of hardened criminals

I'm really angry at my airline. They wouldn't allow me to fly with my emotional support animal. I mean, how hard could it be to accommodate a single friendly giraffe?

i wonder

if i accidently catch that ole coronavirus thingie and then accidently shake the president's hand or maybe accidently kiss him right on the lips

does that mean i'm gay?

- If life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic.

- I tried to change my password to penis, but Russ said it was too short. 😀

cheque mate is when you pay for your mail-order bride with a money order

@wolfe63 said
- If life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic.

- I tried to change my password to penis, but Russ said it was too short. 😀

Yo mama is so ugly she made my happy meal cry

Yo momma so dumb she tried to surf the microwave
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These are as good as blond jokes, eh? 🙂

Is the Fibonacci sequence hard to understand?

NO!
It’s as easy as 1,1,2,3.

Companies have been bragging about making plants taste like meat


Cows have been doing that forever

ANGRY WIFE"I should have married Satan he would have made a better husband than you"

HUBBY" They would have jailed you, Marriage between relatives is Illegal in this country"