Jokes

My pastor told me that atheism is a religion. You can't really deny it though, they are a non-prophet organization

How do you keep an idiot in suspense?

So my friend is a professional baseball player and he is all the time bragging about how it takes balls standing at the plate with baseballs whizzing by your head at 100 miles per hour. I told him I could top that. When it comes to sports, it takes far more balls to golf like me.

Why did the old man fall into the well...
He couldn't see that well...

if two vegans get into a fight is it still called a "beef"?

So I went to this bar the other day and as the bartender is pouring me a drink I tell him that I'm a socialist drinker. He replied, "Don't you mean a social drinker?", to which I said, "No, you are paying"

Where does a socialist bird lay their eggs?

In a communest.

...also an old political one:

A French, a Polish adn a Russian dog talek to each other, says the French dog. If I bark I get some meat.
Says the Polish dog: What is meat?
Says teh Russian: Silyl dog don't you know meat. But what is "bark"?

@whodey said
How do you keep an idiot in suspense?

Forget that, how do we keep idiots out of the jokes thread?

@suzianne said
Forget that, how do we keep idiots out of the jokes thread?

..this is actually not funny at all 🙁

An old one (I heard it in the seventies and then some of the fun was already a bit dated):

A US and a Sowjet admrial boast About the submarines: Says the Sowjet: Our submarines can stay submerged for half a year.
Says the US admiral: Our can for a whole year.

Surfaces a Submarine, An old Kapitänleutnat sticks out his head and says: Heil Hitler! Has the war finished yet?"

@rookie54 said
if two vegans get into a fight is it still called a "beef"?

Do you mean this jokes thread? 😉

-VR

@very-rusty said
Do you mean this jokes thread? 😉

-VR

no, that's not what i mean

@rookie54 said
no, that's not what i mean

Then you should explain yourself more clearly.

-VR

Tom: Me and my friend are going to get some glasses.
Sally: And after that?
Tom: After that, we'll see.

@very-rusty said
Then you should explain yourself more clearly.

-VR

and you should go pound sand