Jokes

Originally posted by @whodey
The Holiday seasons brought this gem to mind

What is the difference between in-laws and outlaws?





Outlaws are wanted.

🙂

Little north American Indian boy asks his mother ." why do they call sitting bull ,sitting bull ?
" Well son, when young sitting bulls mother was in labour she noticed a bull sitting down in front of her tepee so she decided to call her son sitting bull " she told her son .
" Mum ,mum ,why do they call crazy horse ,crazy horse ? " the son asked .
" Well son ,when crazy horses mother was about to give birth a crazy horse ran passed her tepee so she decided it was a good name to call her son ,hence crazy horse "
" Mum, mum , why do they call running water running water ?"
" Well son ,when running waters mother was about to give birth there was a heavy downpour and a stream formed and ran past her tepee so she decided to call her son running water "
" Mum ,mum " the son was about to ask his mother a question when his mother lent over and said .." now listen son its time for bed and we will have no more questions for tonight, so good night wet dog licking balls "

Originally posted by @phil3000
Little north American Indian boy asks his mother ." why do they call sitting bull ,sitting bull ?
" Well son, when young sitting bulls mother was in labour she noticed a bull sitting down in front of her tepee so she decided to call her son sitting bull " she told her son .
" Mum ,mum ,why do they call crazy horse ,crazy horse ? " the son asked .
" We ...[text shortened]... e for bed and we will have no more questions for tonight, so good night wet dog licking balls "

I heard it was 'two dogs fukking'🙂

Originally posted by @wolfgang59
That was a bit flat.

I got a charge out of it

Originally posted by @coquette
I got a charge out of it

There was electricity in the air all night though, told in that famous book
Current events in Electra City written by that famous blues man, Lightning Hopkins!
There was a lot of resistance getting it published however.
The press accused Lightning Hopkins of not having enough of a magnetic character to be writing such deep essays.
He was the light of my life though no doubt about it.
He was like a man on a high voltage wire to me.
He also wrote a short version of the main story and sold it to Readers Digest.
There were however, batteries of complaints about the book.
'Book didn't flow for me' one reviewer wrote.
"He was outstanding in his field' one fan wrote.
I made a short circuit to the bookstore after I read that fan mail.

Originally posted by @sonhouse
There was electricity in the air all night though, told in that famous book
Current events in Electra City written by that famous blues man, Lightning Hopkins!
There was a lot of resistance getting it published however.
The press accused Lightning Hopkins of not having enough of a magnetic character to be writing such deep essays.
He was the light of ...[text shortened]... n his field' one fan wrote.
I made a short circuit to the bookstore after I read that fan mail.

Wow, one small step and then whirled by a dervish. Whew!

Originally posted by @coquette
Wow, one small step and then whirled by a dervish. Whew!

One small step for a mannequin....

Originally posted by @sonhouse
One small step for a mannequin....

One giant leap for femdom

Originally posted by @coquette
One giant leap for femdom

Oo-er, miss!

Originally posted by @coquette
One giant leap for femdom

And you measured that effect no doubt with a femdometer, which lately have been giving high readings.

Originally posted by @sonhouse
And you measured that effect no doubt with a femdometer, which lately have been giving high readings.

.

Originally posted by @sonhouse
I heard it was 'two dogs fukking'🙂

I tried that and it wouldn't get past the moderators ...😠

Originally posted by @phil3000
I tried that and it wouldn't get past the moderators ...😠

Just make it fuk or fukk, that gets past.

Anyone come across the recent research that has shown people having two or three cups of coffee per day live longer than non coffee drinkers?

Well, I've been doing my own research and have concluded that having two or preferably three large glasses of wine a day can reduce your risk of giving a shlt.

Originally posted by @billyray
.

Was that a pointed remark?