Jokes

Originally posted by @whodey
Speaking of the poles, Trump is still trailing Hillary by 40 points since the election.

A joke is supposed to be funny...

The Pope, a Student, Usain Bolt and Donald Trump fly in a plane. Come the Pilots out of the Cockpit and cry: "we are going down!"
The passengers look around and see only three parachutes.
usain Bolt takes hold of a parchute, cries: "I am the fastest man in the world!" and jumps out.
Donald Trump graps a packet cries: "I am the most intelligent man in the world!" and jumps out.
Says the Pope to the Student: "I have lived a Long life, take th remaining parachute."
Answers the Student: "We can both have one each, the most intelligent man in the world jumped with my backpack!"

Originally posted by @ponderable
A joke is supposed to be funny...

The Pope, a Student, Usain Bolt and Donald Trump fly in a plane. Come the Pilots out of the Cockpit and cry: "we are going down!"
The passengers look around and see only three parachutes.
usain Bolt takes hold of a parchute, cries: "I am the fastest man in the world!" and jumps out.
Donald Trump graps a packet crie ...[text shortened]... ent: "We can both have one each, the most intelligent man in the world jumped with my backpack!"

The one I heard was Nixon, who was the most important man in the world, and the backpack, Guess it got pumped into century 21😉

Originally posted by @sonhouse
The one I heard was Nixon, who was the most important man in the world, and the backpack, Guess it got pumped into century 21😉

Actually I had heard that one with Bill Gates some time back ...but since Donald Trump is off scale IQ-wise it seemed Fitting 😉

Liberals are like Christmas lights. They are costly, they all hang together, half of them don't work, and none of them are too bright.

Originally posted by @whodey
Liberals are like Christmas lights. They are costly, they all hang together, half of them don't work, and none of them are too bright.

Maybe this joke would work in a year where Reps aren't passing a tax plan that will raise the debt by over trillion, or didn't have the dumbest president in history.

What's the difference between the "regular" alphabet and the Xmas alphabet?


The Xmas alphabet has no Ls.

Originally posted by @great-big-stees
What's the difference between the "regular" alphabet and the Xmas alphabet?


The Xmas alphabet has no Ls.

We will leave Houston on Christmas Eve for a day at the beach on Galveston Island. And then we will drive home singing "Sandy clothes is coming to town".

😀

Originally posted by @whodey
Liberals are like Christmas lights. They are costly, they all hang together, half of them don't work, and none of them are too bright.

LOL 🙂

Originally posted by @coquette
Most poles have a vaulted opinion of themselves.

I once knew a Czech who bounced.
He got a pogo stick for Christmas.

Originally posted by @captain-strange
I once knew a Czech who bounced.
He got a pogo stick for Christmas.

Who, Robert Maxwell?

Originally posted by @shallow-blue
Who, Robert Maxwell?

I wonder if he told his sons the location of his stolen millions?

Originally posted by @sonhouse
I wonder if he told his sons the location of his stolen millions?

If I had a million dollars
I'd buy you a fur coat
But not a real fur coat
That's cruel


Bare Naked Ladies

What do you call an angle which is adorable?

acute angle

Originally posted by @ponderable
What do you call an angle which is adorable?

acute angle

Shouldn't that be an adorable triangle?

I'm more of an obtuse triangle myself.

Anyway - two oranges walk into a bar, one orange said to the other you're round.

Originally posted by @boardreader
Shouldn't that be an adorable triangle?

I'm more of an obtuse triangle myself.

Anyway - two oranges walk into a bar, one orange said to the other you're round.

Two guys walk into a bar. The third guy ducked.