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General Forum

  1. Subscriber coquette
    Already mated
    08 Dec '17 07:13
    Originally posted by @whodey
    A dog will look up to you

    A cat will look down on you.

    But a pig will look you square in the eye.
    Okay, year after year I post this one. It's just a seasonal reminder.

    What nationality is Santa Claus?

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    North Polish, of course.
  2. Subscriber sonhouse
    Fast and Curious
    08 Dec '17 12:03
    Originally posted by @coquette
    Okay, year after year I post this one. It's just a seasonal reminder.

    What nationality is Santa Claus?

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    North Polish, of course.
    I wouldn't touch that with a 10 foot Pole!
  3. 08 Dec '17 14:14
    Originally posted by @sonhouse
    I wouldn't touch that with a 10 foot Pole!
    A poll, conducted by Ipsos-Reid, says that 90% of Poles don't partake in them.
  4. Subscriber coquette
    Already mated
    08 Dec '17 18:05
    Originally posted by @great-big-stees
    A poll, conducted by Ipsos-Reid, says that 90% of Poles don't partake in them.
    Most poles have a vaulted opinion of themselves.
  5. 08 Dec '17 20:49
    Speaking of the poles, Trump is still trailing Hillary by 40 points since the election.
  6. Subscriber Ponderable
    chemist
    11 Dec '17 14:49
    Originally posted by @whodey
    Speaking of the poles, Trump is still trailing Hillary by 40 points since the election.
    A joke is supposed to be funny...

    The Pope, a Student, Usain Bolt and Donald Trump fly in a plane. Come the Pilots out of the Cockpit and cry: "we are going down!"
    The passengers look around and see only three parachutes.
    usain Bolt takes hold of a parchute, cries: "I am the fastest man in the world!" and jumps out.
    Donald Trump graps a packet cries: "I am the most intelligent man in the world!" and jumps out.
    Says the Pope to the Student: "I have lived a Long life, take th remaining parachute."
    Answers the Student: "We can both have one each, the most intelligent man in the world jumped with my backpack!"
  7. Subscriber sonhouse
    Fast and Curious
    11 Dec '17 14:58 / 1 edit
    Originally posted by @ponderable
    A joke is supposed to be funny...

    The Pope, a Student, Usain Bolt and Donald Trump fly in a plane. Come the Pilots out of the Cockpit and cry: "we are going down!"
    The passengers look around and see only three parachutes.
    usain Bolt takes hold of a parchute, cries: "I am the fastest man in the world!" and jumps out.
    Donald Trump graps a packet crie ...[text shortened]... ent: "We can both have one each, the most intelligent man in the world jumped with my backpack!"
    The one I heard was Nixon, who was the most important man in the world, and the backpack, Guess it got pumped into century 21
  8. Subscriber Ponderable
    chemist
    11 Dec '17 15:03
    Originally posted by @sonhouse
    The one I heard was Nixon, who was the most important man in the world, and the backpack, Guess it got pumped into century 21
    Actually I had heard that one with Bill Gates some time back ...but since Donald Trump is off scale IQ-wise it seemed Fitting
  9. 11 Dec '17 19:02
    Liberals are like Christmas lights. They are costly, they all hang together, half of them don't work, and none of them are too bright.
  10. Standard member vivify
    rain
    11 Dec '17 19:31
    Originally posted by @whodey
    Liberals are like Christmas lights. They are costly, they all hang together, half of them don't work, and none of them are too bright.
    Maybe this joke would work in a year where Reps aren't passing a tax plan that will raise the debt by over trillion, or didn't have the dumbest president in history.
  11. 18 Dec '17 15:08
    What's the difference between the "regular" alphabet and the Xmas alphabet?


    The Xmas alphabet has no Ls.
  12. Subscriber LEUR
    TEXAS
    18 Dec '17 16:42
    Originally posted by @great-big-stees
    What's the difference between the "regular" alphabet and the Xmas alphabet?


    The Xmas alphabet has no Ls.
    We will leave Houston on Christmas Eve for a day at the beach on Galveston Island. And then we will drive home singing "Sandy clothes is coming to town".

  13. 18 Dec '17 18:48
    Originally posted by @whodey
    Liberals are like Christmas lights. They are costly, they all hang together, half of them don't work, and none of them are too bright.
    LOL
  14. 18 Dec '17 18:51
    Originally posted by @coquette
    Most poles have a vaulted opinion of themselves.
    I once knew a Czech who bounced.
    He got a pogo stick for Christmas.
  15. 19 Dec '17 09:39
    Originally posted by @captain-strange
    I once knew a Czech who bounced.
    He got a pogo stick for Christmas.
    Who, Robert Maxwell?