Jokes

I hear Kevin Spacey is making a new movie: You've got male....

Originally posted by @sonhouse
I hear Kevin Spacey is making a new movie: You've got male....

House of cads ....

Originally posted by @phil3000
House of cads ....

I hear he is starting a new venture: 6 fags adventure

A burglar entered a house and started rifling through the draws ,suddenly he heard a voice ...." Jesus is watching you " .....
" bloody hell " yelled the startled burglar ,he looked around the room and couldn't see anything ..I must be hearing things the burglar thought ..he carried on with his searching ....." Jesus is watching you " he heard again .
This time he looked carefully around the room and there he saw a bird cage covered with a blanket ,he ripped it off and there stood a parrot ,the parrot looked at the burglar and said " Jesus is watching you " .
" Yeah, right and just who do you think you are " the burglar said to the parrot .
" Moses " replied the parrot ..
" Moses ,what sort of householders call their pet parrot Moses " sniggered the burglar
" the same householders that call their pet rottweiler Jesus " replied the parrot

Originally posted by @sonhouse
I hear he is starting a new venture: 6 fags adventure

Fag ... That's a slang word for a cigarette in the UK .
" just off for a fag "
" just having a fag "
" fag break " .... maybe best not said in the US ..lol

What did the daddy chimney say to the baby chimney?

You are too small to smoke!

How do you keep an American from finding his keys? Put them on a map.

Originally posted by @phil3000
Fag ... That's a slang word for a cigarette in the UK .
" just off for a fag "
" just having a fag "
" fag break " .... maybe best not said in the US ..lol

Just out of curiosity, do fags marry in the UK?

Originally posted by @whodey
Just out of curiosity, do fags marry in the UK?

Yes, in a church too !
Two Scottish gays ...Ben Doon and Phil Mcavity

On second thought not funny.

Originally posted by @coquette
On second thought not funny.

That's funny. Why not give us a look and we can decide for ourselves.

Originally posted by @coquette
On second thought not funny.

You had a thought?🙂

Two friends, a blonde and a redhead, are walking down the
street and pass a flower shop where the redhead happens to
see her boyfriend buying flowers.

She sighs and says, "Oh, crap, my boyfriend is buying me
flowers again."

The blonde looks quizzically at her and says, "What's the
big deal, don't you like getting flowers?"

The red head says, "Oh sure, but he always has expectations
after giving me flowers, and I just don't feel like spending
the next three days on my back with my legs in the air."

The blonde says, "Don't you have a vase?"

What do you call a blonde with two brain cells?

Pregnant.

All the members of the Taiwanese Extroverts Society are "Taipei" personalities.