Jokes

So the brain-transplant surgeon says to the patient;
"We have two possible brains for you -
you can have Stephen Hawking's brain for $1,000
or you can have whodey's brain for $10,000"

"Why the price difference?" asks the patient.

The surgeon replies;
"Because the whodey brain has hardly been used."

@wolfgang59 said
So the brain-transplant surgeon says to the patient;
"We have two possible brains for you -
you can have Stephen Hawking's brain for $1,000
or you can have whodey's brain for $10,000"

"Why the price difference?" asks the patient.

The surgeon replies;
"Because the whodey brain has hardly been used."

I would take 1:10 odds on Stephen Hawking's brain any day of the week...

@wolfgang59 said
So the brain-transplant surgeon says to the patient;
"We have two possible brains for you -
you can have Stephen Hawking's brain for $1,000
or you can have whodey's brain for $10,000"

"Why the price difference?" asks the patient.

The surgeon replies;
"Because the whodey brain has hardly been used."

Hell, I can do better than that.

What do you call wolfgang with 2 brain cells?










Pregnant.

@whodey said
What do you call wolfgang with 2 brain cells?

With 2 brain cells you wouldn't be able to call me anything.

Why couldn't Mr. Toilet Paper cross the road?

- Because he got stuck in a crack.

Hedgehogs. Why can't they just learn to share the hedge?

@bigdoggproblem said
I would take 1:10 odds on Stephen Hawking's brain any day of the week...

Not in its present condition.

@moonbus said
Not in its present condition.

I imagine it's suffering some serious synaptic deterioration by now. But, it's still smarter than whodey's! 😀

@ghost-of-a-duke said
Hedgehogs. Why can't they just learn to share the hedge?

Stealing lines from Milton Jones again, are we?

Paddy says to Murphy 'My pal came off his motorbike today'.
'Oh really' Murphy said.
'Yes, he has brain damage,2 broken arms and is blind in one eye' replied Paddy.
'Bloody hell says Murphy, no wonder he came off'.

You know how the copper wire was invented?

Two Suebians found the same Pfennig (two Scots found the same penny).

@ponderable said
You know how the copper wire was invented?

Two Suebians found the same Pfennig (two Scots found the same penny).

And the Grand Canyon was formed when a Scotsman found out someone had dropped a penny.

An old guy was working out in the gym when he spotted an attractive young lady.

He asked a nearby trainer, "What machine should I use to impress that lady over there?"

The trainer looked him up and down and said, "I would try the ATM in the lobby."

An elderly conductor, married to a much younger woman, was asked by a curious reporter:
- Have you ever thought of death?
- Yes, I have but what can I do - if she dies, she dies.