Jokes

ABORTION:





It really brings out the kid in you.

Abortion jokes?



Can we cut it out already?

@whodey said
RIP Eddie Money. I heard that the singer died all of a sudden recently. No one saw it coming.

And to think, I had no idea he was friends with the Clintons.

There was this guy hwo made tasteless jokes and took three edits for that.

(This one is about as funny as the quoted one)

and a joke to stay on topic:

Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?"
Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"

Why don't the enemies of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles just flip them on their backs?

@ponderable said
There was this guy hwo made tasteless jokes and took three edits for that.

(This one is about as funny as the quoted one)

and a joke to stay on topic:

Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?"
Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"

That's nothing.

Speaking of abortion jokes.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

You'll never know!!

if you think it's awkward buying condoms,
try returning them...

There is one way to tell that the economy is going strong.

It has been absent during the democrat debates as a topic.

landlubber: Which is correct - yolks is white or yolks are white?
pirate: Arrr

@wolfgang59 said
landlubber: Which is correct - yolks is white or yolks are white?
pirate: Arrr

A pirate walks into a bar one day.

The bartender looks at him and says, "Hey, you've not been in here for a while. And you look terrible, what happened to you?"

The pirate asks, "What do you mean? I'm fine."

The bartender says, "But what about your wooden leg? You never used to have that."

"Ah, well," says the pirate, "We were in a battle at sea and a cannon ball hit my leg. Luckily, the surgeon sorted me out, and I'm fine, really."

"Okay," says the bartender, "But what about your hook? You had two hands the last time I saw you."

"Ah well," says the pirate, "We were in another battle and we boarded the enemy ship. I was in a sword fight and my hand was cut off. Luckily the surgeon sorted me out with this hook, and I feel fine, really."

"Oh okay," says the bartender, "But what about your eye patch? The last time you were in here you definitely still had both eyes."

"Oh that," says the pirate, "Well we were at sea and some birds were flying over the ship. I looked up, and one of them pooped in my eye."

"So?" replied the bartender, "What happened? You can't have lost your eye just because some bird pooped in it."

"Well," says the pirate, "It was my first day with my hook and I wiped my eye."

Velcro - what a rip-off.

@ghost-of-a-duke said
Velcro - what a rip-off.

What's the difference between baseball and politics? In baseball you're out if you're caught stealing.

A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

I'm so old, I remember when Halloween was the scariest night of the year. Now, it's Election night.

If you are not part of the solution, you're probably running for President