Jokes

@ghost-of-a-duke said


-Ghost

My wife told me I had to stop acting like a flamingo. So I had to put my foot down.

(I also know a lot of jokes about unemployed people, but none of them work).

@ghost-of-a-duke said
My wife told me I had to stop acting like a flamingo. So I had to put my foot down.

(I also know a lot of jokes about unemployed people, but none of them work).

I don't understand unemployed people.

They make no cents.

What do you call an unemployed jester?

Nobody's fool.

@ghost-of-a-duke said
I don't understand unemployed people.

They make no cents.

I just lost my job as a psychic.

I did not see that coming.

My boss is going to fire the employee with the worst posture. I have a hunch, it might be me.

This is in honor of "Moggy's Backyard Bear". So please bear with me:
-----------------------
How do you catch a fish without a fishing rod?
- With your bear hands.

Why did God make only one Yogi Bear?
- Because when he tried to make a second one he made a Boo-Boo.

What do you call a bears without ears?
- B's.

Why don't bears like fast food?
- Because they can't catch it!

What do you call a bear that jumps but never lands?
- Peter Panda.

What do you call a bear with no teeth?
- A gummy bear!

What did the teddy bear say after dinner?
- I'm stuffed.

What do you call a freezing bear?
- A brrrrrrr.

What do you get when you cross a grizzly bear and a harp?
- A bear faced lyre!

@ghost-of-a-duke said
I just lost my job as a psychic.

I did not see that coming.

@ghost-of-a-duke said
I don't understand unemployed people.

They make no cents.

@suzianne said
Sir, please remove the stick.

How do you sit down with it lodged up there like that?

edit: Oops, I meant this as reply to VR's reply.

@very-rusty said
My friend and I use word loosely. Never a good idea to joke about the unemployed!!! Not funny EVER!!!!

-VR

Yeah, that one.

The poet Sue and the baker George got married.
They loved each other for Batter or Verse.

If anyone needs an ark, I happen to Noah guy.

Where are average things manufactured?

The satisfactory.