Originally posted by huckleberryhoundNothing says funny like pedo jokes.
Ok try this
This Paedophile is taking a kid through the woods. As they got further into the woods, the kid starts crying.
"what are you crying for?" the paedophile asks.
"I'm Scared" Says the kid.
"YOU'RE SCARED ?? I've got to come back through this on my own"
A longer but still funny joke:
A husband and wife are traveling by car from Key West to Boston. After almost twenty-four hours on the road, they're too tired to continue, and they decide to stop for a rest.
They stop at a nice hotel and take a room, but they only plan to sleep for four hours and then get back on the road. When they check out four hours later, the desk clerk hands them a bill for $350.
The man explodes and demands to know why the charge is so high. He tells the clerk although it's a nice hotel, the rooms certainly aren't worth $350.
When the clerk tells him $350 is the standard rate, the man insists on speaking to the Manager.
The Manager appears, listens to the man, and then explains that the hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference center that were available for the husband and wife to use.
"But we didn't use them," the man complains. "Well, they are here, and you could have," explains the Manager. He goes on to explain they could have taken in one of the shows for which the hotel is famous. "The best entertainers from New York, Hollywood and Las Vegas perform here," the Manager says.
"But we didn't go to any of those shows," complains the man again.
"Well, we have them, and you could have," the Manager replies.
No matter what facility the Manager mentions, the man replies, "But we didn't use it!"
The Manager is unmoved, and eventually the man gives up and agrees to pay. He writes a check and gives it to the Manager. The Manager is surprised when he looks at the check.
"But sir," he says, "this check is only made out for $50 ."
"That's correct," says the man. "I charged you $300 for sleeping with my wife ."
"But I didn't!" exclaims the Manager .
"Well, too bad," the man replies. "She was here and you could have."
...and you got to have a Bill Clinton joke....
Hillary Clinton goes to her doctor for a physical, only to find out that she's pregnant. She is furious... Here she's in the middle of her first run for president, and as Senator of New York this has happened to her.
She calls home, gets Bill on the phone and immediately starts screaming; "How could you have let this happen? With all that's going on right now, you go and get me pregnant! How could you? I can't believe this! I just found out I am five weeks pregnant and it is all your fault! Your fault! Well, what have you got to say?"
There is nothing but dead silence on the phone. She screams again, "Did you hear me?"
Finally she hears Bill's very, very quiet voice. In a barely audible whisper, he says, "Who is this?"
