Literal Genie Game

Originally posted by vivify
Granted. Bill Murray will win it again and again until he gets it right.

I wish I could have my cake and eat it too.

Granted. You eat your cake, and then it reconstitutes itself in your stomach and remains lodged there, undigested, to your dying day.

I wish I had a nickel for every time someone posts something inane on the General Forum.

Originally posted by Ghost of a Duke
Granted. A creative wish has been created for you and awaits collection from your local police station. (Ask for PC Winterbottom).

I wish i knew a good joke about elephants.

the six blind men described the elephant perfectly and succinctly - he's really unforgettable

i wish that i could beat a grandmaster

Originally posted by coquette
the six blind men described the elephant perfectly and succinctly - he's really unforgettable

i wish that i could beat a grandmaster

Granted. You soon awake in a small flat in Moscow with your hands covered in blood, standing over a battered body. Russian police kick down the door and rush in...

I wish I could find a genie who didn't take things so literally.

Originally posted by Soothfast
Granted. You soon awake in a small flat in Moscow with your hands covered in blood, standing over a battered body. Russian police kick down the door and rush in...

I wish I could find a genie who didn't take things so literally.

Granted. Your genie is now Salvador Dali.


I wish my dog was self cleaning.

Originally posted by Ghost of a Duke
Granted. Your genie is now Salvador Dali.


I wish my dog was self cleaning.

granted - all dogs are "self cleaning" (the genie got a bye on this one)

I wish that I could think of an interesting post that would garner esteem from all

Originally posted by coquette
granted - all dogs are "self cleaning" (the genie got a bye on this one)

I wish that I could think of an interesting post that would garner esteem from all

Granted. You now have permission to copy and paste any of the Ghost's posts.

I wish eggs were all white. (I'm not yoking).

Originally posted by Ghost of a Duke
Granted. You now have permission to copy and paste any of the Ghost's posts.

I wish eggs were all white. (I'm not yoking).

Granted - you have lost your colour vision.

I wish I had a bird table.

Originally posted by Shallow Blue
Granted - you have lost your colour vision.

I wish I had a bird table.

Granted. You now have a table fashioned completely out of pigeons.

I wish i could move like Jagger.

Originally posted by Ghost of a Duke
Granted. You now have a table fashioned completely out of pigeons.

I wish i could move like Jagger.

Granted, you are wafting in the breeze (a jagger bush), although, fortunately for you, you are the Bush not running for president

I wish that I could move 1. f3 without looking like a complete idiot

Originally posted by billyray

I wish that I could move 1. f3 without looking like a complete idiot

Granted: You now play all your games without that ridiculous clown nose.

I wish I had a pony (for that daughter I wished could talk)

Originally posted by wolfgang59
Granted: You now play all your games without that ridiculous clown nose.

I wish I had a pony (for that daughter I wished could talk)

Granted. Unfortunately your genie was a little hard of hearing and has given you a pony tail.

I wish Wolfgang would get rid of his pony tail. It's so 1980s.

Originally posted by Ghost of a Duke
Granted. Unfortunately your genie was a little hard of hearing and has given you a pony tail.

I wish Wolfgang would get rid of his pony tail. It's so 1980s.

Granted now he has extended Sideburns instead.

I wish things would be more constructive.

Originally posted by Ponderable
Granted now he has extended Sideburns instead.

I wish things would be more constructive.

Granted. You will be kept awake by buikders hammering away all around you for the next three months or so.

I wish wall paper weren't such a bother to put up.

Originally posted by Shallow Blue
Granted. You will be kept awake by buikders hammering away all around you for the next three months or so.

I wish wall paper weren't such a bother to put up.

Granted. Wall paper is now infinitesimally less of a bother to put up.

I wish for England to regain the Ashes this summer.

Originally posted by Rank outsider
Granted. Wall paper is now infinitesimally less of a bother to put up.

I wish for England to regain the Ashes this summer.

Granted, the ghost of Arthur Ashe has returned to Wimbledon.

I wish that I had a nickel for every Sticky Thread Post.